They giggle.

“The new mall,” Ella continues. “They have ice cream, and bowling, and some cute stores, too. Let’s go right after school; we can be back by eight, nine, there isn’t much homework due tomorrow…”

“Cool with me,” Tzippy says agreeably, snapping closed her empty lunch container and reaching for a chocolate bar.

Shoshana nods.

Mimi swallows. “Um, guys? Not sure if I’ll make it, but go ahead without me.”

“Hey, no fun, we want you too,” Ella says, her voice a badly-disguised question mark.

Mimi sighs. She wants to join, too. But tomorrow’s Wednesday, and she’d spent half of Sunday at the gym, too, and… there was just So. Much. Homework. And Kayla’s gonna be waiting for her, right on the dot at 5:30 p.m., and Mimi doesn’t have the energy to even ask her sister to move something around in her sacred schedule.

“I just… I’m so behind with school and stuff,” she mumbles, hating the way the half-truth stumbles, awkward, off her tongue. “And I’ve been doing extra gymnastics… need to catch up with my work.”

“Booo-ring,” pronounces Tzippy teasingly. “Mimi Weiss, since when have you become the model student?”

Mimi knows it’s a joke, and she’s supposed to laugh along with the rest, but it’s too much. Don’t they think she’d rather chill out in the mall than plow through endless assignments at her desk? With Kayla for company, no less.

“Since Mrs. Stern called my parents about my grades, okay?” she blurts. “And we have the seminary test in a few months, and none of you have anything to worry about, but I do. And if I don’t keep up my grades and do well and stuff, you’ll all be waltzing around Israel without me in a couple of years.”

Utter silence.

Shoshana breaks it first.

“Oh, Mimi,” she says, wrapping her arms around her friend. “That’s so tough. I’m… sorry. We weren’t thinking.”

Tzippy and Ella nod too, mournfully. It feels so funereal and somber, Mimi has a sudden urge to giggle.

“Do you want us… not to go?” Ella asks, reluctantly. “Or, like, to study together?”

From adventure seeking, we-need-fun-and-different Ella, this is huge. Mimi smiles, a real one. “Aw, you’re sweet. But nah, go and enjoy yourselves. Just, just — I can’t make it. Not right now.”

Shoshana’s still got one arm around her, half a hug. “But maybe we can help you? It’s no fun to study alone.”

Mimi has to resist the urge to shake off her arm and take a step back. Because it’s such a nice offer, such an obvious one, if they’re not aware that she has a study partner (read: tutor) all set up for her.

The others are all looking at her, Tzippy’s eyes friendly and caring, Ella’s open and curious. They’re here for her, Mimi realizes with a warm rush to her throat. Her friends really care.

Maybe she can give this to them. This… trust that they can take her secret, keep it.

Because the other option — keep evading, avoiding, mumble some excuse and move on — it’s gonna put something between them. She should know by now.

“Actually,” Mimi says, and takes a breath. “I, um, I study with Kayla. She… it helps a lot.”

The others look at each other. They don’t seem to realize what a bombshell she’s just shared.

“We… kind of guessed,” Ella says quietly. “Because you’ve been so busy… and studying on your own a lot. And, and—” She breaks off.

“We weren’t gonna say anything in case you didn’t want us to know,” Tzippy adds. “But seriously, Mimi, you don’t need to be, like, embarrassed or anything. I mean, half the class studies with Kayla.” She giggles. “You get unlimited, exclusive sessions, I guess. Sister’s privilege.”

Mimi’s still trying to process Ella’s revelation. Her friends… knew? They’d guessed? And yet… they’d kept quiet, let her have her space and her dignity.

“It’s not that much fun, y’know,” she says. “I mean, besides that I keep missing out on stuff… and me and Kayla — we’re different. It’s — not so simple.”

Tzippy tosses her curly head. “I think it’s a great idea,” she says, sounding uncannily like Mimi’s mother. “I mean, my sister helps me all the time with math and stuff. Free tutoring, better grades, and like, that’s what family is for, right?”

“That’s, like, your older sister,” Mimi says. “It’s… different, okay?”

No one argues. But no one aside from Shoshana, who gives her arm one last squeeze before finally releasing her hold, seems to really understand.

to be continued…

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 920)