"And one more thing, Mimi,” Mrs. Stern continues. "From now on, in all my classes, I’d like you to sit in the front row"

The mechaneches’s office is too warm. Mimi glances at the windows, tightly shut.

“Sit down, Mimi,” Mrs. Stern says, indicating the chair in front of the desk.

Mimi sits, but the teacher remains standing, flipping through her grade book quietly. Mimi shifts in her chair and wonders if she could just stand up again. Sitting feels too… vulnerable, somehow.

“You can do better,” Mrs. Stern says suddenly, looking up and fixing Mimi with a look that was probably intended to be concerned, but instead comes across as accusing. “I know you can, Mimi. Your grades in the past have been… higher than this.”

Right — 60s are higher than 30s, that’s for sure.

“I… didn’t really study,” Mimi mumbles. “I wanted to, and something came up the night before…”

Mrs. Stern is watching her intently, but Mimi presses her lips together. She’s not going to say anything else; it’s Shoshana’s secret, not hers.

“Well, then,” Mrs. Stern says finally. “That’s simple enough to rectify.” She walks around the table and finally sits down, pulling a calendar out of the desk drawer. “I’ll schedule a make-up test for you, a week from today, which should give you plenty of time to study. Next Thursday, you’ll take the test here in my office, during Chumash class.”

A make-up test. In a way, it’s good news — a chance for her to really study, put her best effort in, and gain a result that will give her confidence for the seminary test that her classmates don’t stop talking about. But on the other hand…

Another test. There are so many tests, so much homework. Assignments, essays, reports. Eleventh grade is worse than tenth, and even last year, she’d struggled. And this year… this year there are higher stakes than ever before.

She can’t afford to fail. In Chumash, or in any other subject. She can’t lose her chance at attending seminary in Israel with her friends. Can’t risk her grades, her report card.

“And one more thing, Mimi,” Mrs. Stern continues. “From now on, in all my classes, I’d like you to sit in the front row. I’ll be switching your seat with Hadassah’s. I hope you’ll find that helps you concentrate better in class.”

A front row seat! Mimi looks up in alarm, but Mrs. Stern is holding the door open in a way that tells her this conversation is over.

Recess is nearly over, too.

Out in the hallway, Mimi shivers, suddenly cold. Is it the sudden change from the stuffiness of the office? Or something else?

She has a sweatshirt in her locker. Sweatshirts are kinda banned but kind of ignored, too, especially if she avoids the area near Mrs. Leder’s and Mrs. Schwartz’s offices.

Mimi digs her hands deep into the pockets of her sweatshirt and quickens her step as she nears the classroom. She needs her friends, Tzippy and Shoshana and Ella, they’ll sympathize with her. The four of them have back row seats together for a reason, and now she’ll be on her own, in the front, right in the teacher’s line of vision. And worst of all, Mimi realizes with mounting horror — Kayla’s seat will be right near her own.

Shoshana’s waiting at the door of the classroom. “Where’ve you been? Mrs. Stern kept you until now?”

Mimi shrugs. “Tell you soon. Where are the others?”

Shoshana motions vaguely. “I don’t know… I was looking for you. Wanna go chill somewhere? There’s still a few minutes till the bell…”

Mimi stares at her friend. Why is Shoshana acting so blank, as if they don’t spend every single recess together, all four of them? What’s going on? Just because she’s going through stuff, and okay, it’s sad and it’s hard for her and all that, but why does one secret mean that everything needs to change?

“Let’s go hang out with the others,” Mimi says, a note of uncharacteristic firmness creeping into her tone. “It’s been ages… we can talk later, just the two of us.”

Shoshana looks a little unhappy, but she follows Mimi nonetheless, down the hallway and toward the staircase, their favorite haunt.

At the foot of the stairs, Mimi stops. There’s a familiar voice, speaking too high, long legs stretched awkwardly across the third stair from the top.

Kayla. What’s she doing here, with Tzippy and Ella again? With her friends?

Ella says something, and there’s a burst of laughter. Now Mimi realizes the three of them aren’t alone: A few other classmates are hanging around too, leaning over the banister and joining the fun.

Fun.

Abruptly, before anyone can notice her standing there, she flings herself away from the staircase, heading in the opposite direction.

“Mim? Mimi!” Shoshana is breathless and confused. “Where are you going? They were up there, I thought you wanted to join them…”

Mimi averts her eyes. “Ugh, there’s no room to sit down, too many people hanging out there,” she says. Shoshana’s eyes narrow, and Mimi hunches into herself, feeling acutely cold again despite the sweatshirt.

Apparently, everything around her has changed already.

To be continued...

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 901)