A Word 
Is a Word
Let your children see that you’re trustworthy
The Talmud teaches that each person will be asked on his judgment day “Did you deal with honesty and integrity?” Of course we’d all like to answer yes. 
However the Talmud also states  “One who does not keep his word is lacking in honesty and integrity.” Oops. In family life there are so many occasions on which we fail to keep our word. Although our intentions are good  things inevitably come up; our plans get disrupted.
Picture this:
8 a.m.:
Child: What are we having for dinner tonight?
Mom: Spaghetti and meatballs.
Child: Yum! Can’t wait!
6 p.m.:
Child: Mommy  there aren’t any meatballs on my plate — it’s just spaghetti with meat sauce.
Mom: I know  honey  I’m sorry. Aunt Racheli had a problem with her car and I had to help her. By the time I got home there wasn’t enough time to make meatballs  so I just made meat sauce. It’s the same thing  except not in balls.
Child: You promised meatballs! I don’t like meat sauce!
Mom: I didn’t promise. I said that’s what we were going to have  but sometimes things happen and our plans get messed up. 
Child: You promised!
All of our words are promises  whether we call them so or not  and  in the youngster’s eyes  Mom has lied. He was dreaming of those meatballs all day long and was badly disappointed at dinnertime. 
But what could Mom do? She intended to make meatballs  but then her schedule got disrupted by the important mitzvah of helping her sister-in-law through a broken car crisis. Should she have refused to help because of her earlier words to her child? 
In fact  this mom never even paused to reflect on the issue. She had said “meatballs ” but in her mind  meatballs  meat sauce  tomato sauce  or whatever  were all interchangeable. The general idea was “spaghetti” and even that might have become macaroni or spirals if it turned out that the last package of spaghetti had already been consumed. From her point of view  her child was being ridiculous. But from the child’s point of view  Mommy cannot be trusted.
Careful Choice of Words
Hashem has plans for our day every day. Therefore  we can add the qualifier “im yirtzeh Hashem” (God willing) to all statements of intent. What’s for dinner tonight? “Spaghetti and meatballs  im yirtzeh Hashem.” This is the first step to acknowledging and teaching that we are not in control of our lives. 
Nonetheless  young children tend to take parental statements as true even when qualifiers like im yirtzeh Hashem are added; therefore  even more precautions are needed. It’s also a good idea to avoid words like “maybe” or “I’ll try” or even “hopefully” when announcing plans  as children tend to translate these as “yes.” 
For example  if a child asks Mom to pick up a book from the library and Mom isn’t sure whether or not she’ll have time for it  she’s best off saying something like “I don’t know my schedule. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get to it.” If the child begs the parent to try to fit the errand in  the parent can remain firmly ambivalent — “I don’t know. Don’t count on it.” 
Then  if the parent somehow manages to get the books  she’s a hero  and if she doesn’t  the child’s hopes have not been raised by “I’ll try” only to be dashed later. (By the way  we adults also tend to feel both disappointment and a touch of betrayal when someone’s “I’ll try” doesn’t pan out.)

Building and 
Breaking Trust
Children often complain that they can’t trust their parents’ word. The parents in question are usually loving and well-intentioned people who would never purposely betray their child. It’s just that they say something will take place and then “things change.” However  over time  the child learns not to count on what the parent says. He also learns that he himself needn’t be too careful about his own commitments: after all  “things change.” 
Our words are powerful. The fact that we may be talking about meatballs is irrelevant — all of our daily words convey meanings that go way beyond their materialistic subject matter to reveal personal character traits. Although there will be inevitable errors  being aware of the true impact of our language can help us successfully convey that words are important  and that our word is our word.