A year after his forced goodbye to Alta, Avrohom Fixsler is determined to turn her tragic legacy into something positive

Photos: Elchanan Kotler, Family archives

Two weeks ago, Avrohom Fixsler had a nightmare — one that accompanies his every waking hour.

As he slept on Shabbos, his mind took him back in time a year, to stand with his wife by their daughter Alta’s bedside in a Manchester hospital.

The two-year-old had spent much of her short life at the center of an international storm. British medical authorities said that the brain-damaged girl faced a lifetime of pain and were determined to end Alta’s life in the name of compassion. Her parents — newcomers to the country — contended that their daughter was in no pain, and fought the decision through Britain’s legal system and in the court of horrified public opinion.

As they stood around her bedside that Monday, October 18, 12 Cheshvan 2021, Alta was exactly as she’d always been — breathing with the help of a respirator, unaware of the world around her, the center of her loving parents’ lives.

Then in Avrohom Fixsler’s replay of the scene, something went dreadfully wrong.

A doctor arrived, but he was no white-coated angel of mercy. He’d come to pull the plug on the toddler’s ventilator.

And that’s where the bad dream turned into a nightmare.

“In my dream,” recalls the bereaved father, “I started to cry and begged him, ‘Please don’t turn off the machine! Please let her go.’ ”

A year after he had to watch, helpless, as his daughter’s life ended before his eyes, Avrohom Fixsler struggles to move on.

For this big man who used all the assertiveness of a strong character to save his child, his little girl is still very much with him, and 12 months of mourning have done little to lessen the pain.

Instead, those feelings have been channeled into doing whatever he can to help others navigate similar medical situations.

Over the last year, Avrohom Fixsler has spent hours in hospitals giving others the fortitude they need to overcome the skepticism of doctors — and even relatives — as they advocate for their sick children.

He’s also spent time preaching what he practiced: talking to groups of parents of struggling teens to help them appreciate the gift of a child who doesn’t necessarily give back.

“In many ways, Alta’s loss — and the way that it happened — are getting more difficult to deal with,” he says.

“The doctors killed our daughter, and it’s like we have part of us buried on Har Hamenuchos. My only comfort is helping others, and then I say ‘Alta, I’m doing this just for you.’ ”