HaKadosh Baruch Hu always opens a way back

Sometimes life seems so dark and confusing you have no idea how you’ll ever get your balance back. Will you ever see your estranged child again? Will you ever be whole? But Hashem, Who pulls the strings, can arrange the most amazing circumstances that make it all come together

T

his is the season for amazing stories, and here is one more, which I heard from a close friend, a talmid chacham who is a relative of the people involved.

It all began with a terrible road accident in a certain US city. A man from the local frum community was killed, leaving a widow and seven young orphans. The eldest was a 13-year-old girl.

This girl was extremely sensitive, and she was unable to get past her grief. In her distraught state of mind, she began, for some reason, to blame her mother for her father’s death. Her anger and resentment festered and turned to implacable hatred. The poor mother, on top of losing her husband and suddenly having to raise and support the family on her own, now had her daughter’s fury to cope with as well. The struggle between them was poisoning the atmosphere of the home. Eventually, the mother was advised to place the girl with a foster family.

While the atmosphere at home improved, the girl’s emotional health did not. She became increasingly bitter, and, before long, she was out on the streets, exposed to all the dangers to be found there. She cut off all contact with her mother, and remained incommunicado for five years.

The widow had a cousin in Europe with whom she had a close relationship. This lady was well known in her community as a baalas chesed, and she was very concerned about her cousin’s plight. One day some weeks before Pesach, the two women were talking on the phone, and the widow confided that she found it very difficult to be happy on Pesach without her husband there to conduct the Seder. Her kindhearted cousin had an idea: What if she and her husband, who were childless, were to come to America and be her guests for Pesach? Her husband could lead the Sedorim. Wouldn’t that be nicer than having to lead the Seder herself or be invited to another family’s Seder? The widow gratefully agreed to the idea, and it became their regular yearly arrangement.

Several years passed and meanwhile, the widowed mother heard not a word from or about her daughter. She didn’t even know where the girl was.

Then, shortly before Pesach last year, her European cousins received a request from an askan in their city. A young Jewish girl who’d been wandering from place to place, and was currently on her own in their town, was looking to be hosted for the Seder. He felt that she needed particularly warm, sensitive, and kind people to host her, and he’d thought of them. They were astounded when they heard the girl’s name — their cousin’s long-lost daughter. They spoke to the girl’s mother and explained why they might not be able to come to her for Pesach. Of course, the mother was both shocked and relieved, and she assured her cousins that they should go ahead and do the mitzvah that had suddenly come their way. She would manage somehow, not to worry. It was enough for her to know that her daughter was alive, and apparently interested in getting back to Yiddishkeit.

The friend who told me the story had no details about where the girl had been in the interim or what she’d experienced. In any case, she didn’t resume contact with her mother.

Sometime afterward, as the widow and her other six children were on their way to spend Shabbos in another town, they would be passing close by the cemetery where their father was buried. Although it was Friday afternoon and getting rather late, she decided to stop briefly and visit his grave. She parked near the entrance and told the children to wait in the car.

As she approached her husband’s grave, she caught her breath. Her eldest daughter was standing there.

Their eyes met. After a shocked moment of awkward self-consciousness, they simply fell into each other’s arms. Years of alienation and resentment melted away in an instant. After they’d both regained some composure, the mother asked her daughter what she was doing there. “I came to tell Abba that I’m engaged,” she said. “We made a l’chayim last night and were planning an engagement party for our friends next week. But now, Ima, I’d like it to be at your house, okay?”

My friend couldn’t hide his own emotions as he related this story. “Look at the perfection of Hashgachah pratis here: The young lady actually came to the cemetery with her chassan — who’d also taken a winding path before embarking on his way back — but he was a Kohein and had to wait outside the cemetery grounds. And because her mother wanted to keep the visit quick, she didn’t bring the children in with her either — so when they came face-to-face, it was just the two of them. There was nothing to inhibit them from giving complete release to their feelings. HaKadosh Baruch Hu arranged everything to make sure that encounter would be perfect.

“Why am I telling you this story?” my friend asked. “It’s as Hashem told Avraham Avinu when Sarah was suspect of the promise of a child – Hayipale meHashem davar? Is anything too far removed from Hashem’s ability? A Jew must never despair. Even when people get terribly lost, HaKadosh Baruch Hu always opens a way back for them.”

NOT TO WORRY A friend of mine in America was concerned about the future of Torah in Eretz Yisrael. I e-mailed him some words of comfort, and the following is an excerpt from that message. I thought it was worth sharing:

In one of his letters, the Chazon Ish describes the Torah’s journey through the generations. He says that after many years of travel, the Torah has now returned to Eretz Yisrael, and we can see that it is so, despite the opposing propaganda. The pasuk assures us, “It will not be forgotten from the mouth of his progeny.” So don’t worry!

And here’s something else. Ben Gurion was the first to release lomdei Torah from army service. But as soon as he was no longer leading the country, he started talking about the need to draft them. People asked him, “What happened? All those years, you gave them an exemption!” His answer was, “I made a mistake.”

One of our gedolei Torah ztz”l explained, “It’s very simple. As long as he was in power, it wasn’t up to him, because ‘The heart of kings and ministers is in Hashem’s Hands.’ HaKadosh Baruch Hu controls how a leader will stand on a crucial issue. Once Ben-Gurion was no longer prime minister, he was just plain Ben-Gurion again, and he was no friend of the Torah.”

I have a mechutan who held an important position in the military rabbinate, and Yitzchak Rabin, when he was prime minister, once said to him, “I don’t know why I let them stay out of the army. But the leaders who come after me won’t let it go on this way.”

Yet look what happened. Those who succeeded him also allowed the draft deferments. Even now, with the Tal Law declared invalid, and politicians arguing furiously that bnei Torah must serve just like everyone else, nothing has actually changed. Those who learn Torah are still learning. As the saying goes, the dogs bark, and the caravan passes. Hashem’s promise that “It will not be forgotten” is stronger than all their threats. When you come to visit, I’ll take you on a tour of the big yeshivos and kollelim, and you’ll see them learning with the same bren as ever.

So stop fretting about what politicians say they’re going to do when they come to power. HaKadosh Baruch Hu decides what they will do.

I’ll tell you another thing. Little by little, even the politicians who seriously want to draft bnei Torah are beginning to realize the whole business just isn’t worth it. What would they do with all the chassidim who need a mikveh every morning before davening, and what about all the demands for this or that hechsher? Some will insist on Eidah Chareidis, others will accept only She’eris. And how about the Breslovers who will need time-out for hisbodedus? They’re starting to realize what a balagan it would be. One more reason not to worry…

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 703)