One of the most precious presents a person receives is given to her when she’s born: her name

W

e all love receiving gifts. Some gifts accompany a person throughout her lifetime. One of the most precious presents a person receives is given to her when she’s born: her name. One’s name is one of the quintessential factors that will influence a person throughout her lifetime.

Naming the Soul

When parents name a child, they’re blessed with a measure of ruach hakodesh. Chofetz Hashem adds that the name a parent gives will be the same name that Hashem calls this neshamah. Accordingly, when we refer to a wicked person, we say “yemach shemo” (may his name be erased), indicating that the neshamah’s relationship with Hashem has been severed.

By giving their child a name, parents are also bequeathing specific character traits to their child. Berachos (7b) teaches that “shema garim,” the name influences a person. The meaning of the name, or the person for whom the person is named, will influence the potential character of the child.

A child called Avraham or Sarah will be drawn to chesed, and one named Yosef will have the quality of providing for others. Tzaddok HaKohein explains that when we want to wake up a person, we call his name and he wakes up. Calling a person’s name awakens his essence.

Aside from the name itself, explains Rabbi Dovid Hofstedater in Darash Dovid, there is another essential ingredient that impacts a child: the mindset of the parents when naming a child, and the thoughts and aspirations they connect with the name. So, if one calls a child after a relative, not only does the intrinsic meaning of the name impact the child, but the character traits the parents associate with the person who bore the name will help form the child’s persona too.

This is the reason behind the custom of naming a child after great people, so the child will emulate their positive aspects. Bar or bas mitzvahs and weddings are opportune occasions for parents to talk to their children about the meaning behind their names, to spur them on to further growth.

The Power Within

A boy is given a name at his bris milah. Rav Gedalia Schorr in Ohr Gedalyahu explains that a bris is when the latent character traits of a child become revealed. We bless the child that he should be successful in taking this foundation and be able to utilize his kochos hanefesh to serve Hashem his entire life.

We therefore bless him “k’sheim shenichnas labris” — just as he entered the bris with this incredible insight and energy, so he should be blessed to continue to develop these strengths his entire life. In this regard, the name is the medium that reflects the inherent nature of the child. We see this idea demonstrated in the pasuk, “v’samta shemo Avraham, u’matzasa es levavo ne’eman lifanecha”; Avraham Avinu’s name was consistent with his persona.

When a person doesn’t utilize the entirety of the potential inherent in his name, it’s considered as if the person is in a state of exile. This, notes the Ohr Gedalyahu, explains the minhag of saying a pasuk or pesukim that are connected with a person’s name at the end of Shemoneh Esreh. After saying the pasuk, we conclude our tefillah with the request ending with, “Hashem tzuri v’goali, Hashem is my Rock and my Redeemer.” We ask Hashem every day that He redeem us to be able to actualize all of the potential found in our names.

Connection from Above

While a boy is named at his bris, the prevalent custom is to name a girl after the father gets an aliyah to the Torah. Yalkut Minhagim explains that the source is based on Yeshayahu 62:2. The pasuk states: “And you will be called a new name that the Mouth of Hashem will establish.” The “Mouth of Hashem” is a reference to the Torah, so a new name is given by the sefer Torah.

Rav Shimshon Pincus in Nefesh Shimshon, parshas Vayikra, underscores that a name reflects individuality and specialness. A boy receives his name at his bris, which establishes his covenant and connection with Hashem. A girl receives her name by a sefer Torah, which is also known as “Sefer Habris.” Here too, when the baby girl receives her name, a special covenantal relationship of love and specialness between Hashem and this child is established.

In many Sephardic communities there’s a special Mi Shebeirach that’s recited when naming a girl, and pesukim are recited from Shir Hashirim. This ceremony is usually referred to as “zeved bat.” Zeved, Maagalei Hachayim explains, refers to a special gift, or abundance, reflecting the abundance a new Jewish girl brings into the world.

Seventh Day Inspiration

There are many different minhagim regarding when to give a girl her name. Zecher Dovid states that one should name the girl as soon as possible; since both the soul and the name originate in Heaven, one wants to unite the two as soon as possible. Minchas Yitzchak posits that one should wait until Shabbos, when there’s a larger number of people in shul, which confers greater honor on the naming ceremony.

Another opinion holds that a baby girl should be named specifically on Shabbos, and the Chiddushei HaRim offers a fascinating insight explaining that minhag. He cites the story of the manna. The Chumash relates that the people did not know what this food was. It then goes on to describe the laws of Shabbos, and how the Jews collected a double portion on Erev Shabbos. The pasuk states, “And Beis Yisrael called its name mahn.” It was the power of Shabbos that enabled them to name this food.

It’s worth noting that the Jewish People here are called “Beis Yisrael,” which is usually a reference to the women. Consequently, Shabbos is a time when inspiration will come to name another member of “Beis Yisrael.” He adds that Shabbos is the first mitzvah a father is commanded to teach his daughter, and therefore there’s a special connection between Shabbos and naming a girl.

It’s customary to make a kiddush in honor of the birth of a daughter. One source for this minhag, notes Rabbeinu Gershom, is based on the Gemara that describes the 120 parties that Boaz made for his children. We know that Boaz had 30 sons and 30 daughters. Rabbeinu Gershom explains that Boaz made a party at each child’s birth and wedding.

Pnei Menachem deduces that a party means an event at which wine is served, which would be a source for making a kiddush on Shabbos in honor of the celebration. The kiddush, similar to the shalom zachar, is an opportunity, to bless the girl to live a life dedicated to the values of Torah, to marry a ben Torah, and do many mitzvos. Pnei Menachem also suggests that one’s ancestors in Gan Eden probably come down to participate in this kiddush as well.

Staying Power

Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter, in V’nechtav Basefer, quotes the idea that before naming a child, one should do an act of chesed. In so doing, one will ensure that the name and essence of the child will endure. The story of how Pharaoh’s daughter named Moshe Rabbeinu supports this idea. Although Moshe had many names, this is the only one the Torah uses. In saving Moshe Rabbeinu, she did a tremendous act of chesed, and therefore, this is the name that endured.

Parents need to be cognizant of the power found in the names they choose for their children. According to Rav Moshe Weinberger, if a child has two names, or a nickname, one should be careful to call the child by his full name at least once a day. In this way, the parent is ensuring the tremendous kochos hanefesh found in the name will be tapped into, thereby gifting the child with the ability to succeed in his holy mission of bringing glory to Hashem’s Name during his sojourn in This world.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 713)