My Team Revisited
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M
yTEAM is an incredible organization servicing frum high school and post-seminary girls living with chronic invisible medical conditions such as lupus, Crohn’s, juvenile arthritis, chronic Lyme disease, and diabetes (and many more — these are just the more well-known ones).
While the conditions our girls face are not life-threatening, they are lifelong conditions that have a great impact on their everyday lives. While the average high school girl spends most of her time thinking about school and friends, our girls live in a reality of doctors' appointments, heavy medications, and debilitating symptoms, often with the additional stress of keeping their conditions secret.
MyTEAM’s goal is to provide these girls with much-needed support while maintaining strict confidentiality. They currently service over 135 girls worldwide by pairing each girl with a teammate — a girl their own age with the same or similar condition. Each girl also gets a mentor, a young woman with a similar condition, who can offer support, perspective, and guidance. In addition, MyTEAM regularly sends out chizuk emails and arranges monthly teleconference shiurim by renowned speakers and mechanchos on topics chosen by the girls.
Since MyTEAM was featured in the TP Shavuos edition, many girls have reached out to them. Here we present feedback and stories from girls whose lives have been transformed by MyTEAM in just a few short months.
I read your article in Teen Pages. It literally was incredible. I’m 18-years-old and have long become accustomed to the fact that there is no one out there who “gets it,” and I kinda got used to suffering alone. I literally was incredulous when I read your article. There is a frum organization helping girls feel less alone and also maintains confidentiality?! Wow! I’d love to be part of this program and be paired up with a mentor! Thank you for providing this tremendous service to Klal Yisrael!
(Age 18)
After I was diagnosed with my condition, I kept hearing the name MyTEAM. We kept my condition a secret, so the idea of support held no appeal to me. One Shavuos night, I opened the Teen Pages to the feature article about MyTEAM. I read it once, twice, three times. To see that there were many others out there who have climbed the same mountain that I am on, and who felt the same way that I did, was liberating.
I realized for the first time that I’m not alone. I contacted MyTEAM, and after careful consideration, the amazing coordinators set me up with a mentor who is like me in so many ways. She went through the same challenges in the same environment. I had the zechus to meet my mentor in her home. I got to see that living a happy, fulfilling life with my condition is totally possible. To me, my mentor is a pillar of hope. My fears for the future are dispelled because I know that we can do it. I’m not alone.
MyTEAM has taught me that having a medical condition is not something to simply deal with, but to use as a stepping stone to catapult me to new heights.
(Age 17)
One sunny day, I read an article about MyTEAM, and I thought, Nice idea, but I don’t need this! I’m okay, I can handle things on my own. Only I couldn’t.
My condition doesn’t actually affect my day-to-day life: going to school, partying with friends, playing teenager… But it’s lots of appointments and lots of worrying and lots of emotional upheaval and lots of thinking about stuff that most teens don’t think about. I was the type who didn’t acknowledge emotions, I’d just swallow and ignore the thoughts, until I would have a complete meltdown and start crying for nerdy reasons.
One Friday my friends went boating while I went to the doctor. Uch. But imagine, the thing that bothered me most was that I couldn’t tell my friends why I wasn’t joining. And then my mom said, Hey, why don’t you tell MyTEAM?
I took little steps. First I joined the email list. They sent me poems and stuff that other teammates wrote and I found myself in every word. I thought, This is made for me, why didn’t I try it earlier? Why did I have to suffer all alone? And then when I actually spoke to the coordinator and told her my story, it felt like letting go of stuff that I didn’t even know I’ve been carrying around for so long!
Now I have new heroes. Here are girls, just like me, going through rough waters, and if they can be happy, I can too! I ended up revising an old, complain-y poem I wrote a long time ago and turned it into something beautiful and positive.
It took some difficult, emotional work on my end but it was well worth it. There’s nothing like the amazing feeling of knowing you passed a difficult test. And it’s all thanks to MyTEAM.
(Age 20)
When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, I felt overwhelmed and distraught. I was very frustrated and angry. My negative emotions overpowered any rational thoughts.
When my mother reached out to MyTEAM, I was going to camp the next day, and they said the girl whose story was featured in the TP article is coming as head staff to that camp. They sent that girl my name, and she was able to take care of me and helped me figure out everything at camp. (Like getting out of activities I wasn’t up to, letting me stay up late ’cuz I was on steroids, and helping the camp understand my needs). She’s a super-sweet and caring mentor and I was greatly relieved! I finally felt understood. No matter how frustrated I get, my mentor knows exactly what to say to help me feel better. She always makes me laugh and feel more hopeful. It’s a lot easier for me to navigate this journey with her at my side.
There was a MyTEAM mentors event near my house, and I dropped by for a few minutes to say hi to my mentor. They asked everyone in the room who is on the medication I’m on to raise their hands for me to see how many people there are. It was a really cool “aha moment” for me. I finally felt like I’m not so alone, like there are so many regular people dealing with a similar situation and functioning perfectly well.
(Age 13).
Being diagnosed with a scary-sounding condition can feel so isolating. My parents were worried, my siblings were confused, and the friends who knew were scared as well. I avoided telling most of my friends, because I didn’t want to be a topic of conversation, or for them to be uncomfortable around or concerned for me.
The only person I knew who had gone through a similar experience was much older than me, and I didn’t feel comfortable bringing up the topic. I was having a hard time getting “out of my head,” and wasn’t even sure how I myself felt. I acted like I was fine because I already felt squashed by other people’s anxiety and didn’t want them to think I needed more support. But I did.
That’s when I saw the article. I wasn’t sure, so pushed it off a little, but then I really needed someone. So I found some private time at the computer and I emailed MyTEAM (anonymously to start). I asked only to be put onto the email list, and that little addition to my day made a huge difference in my life. I got to hear from other people who felt like I did, and plenty of whom had it even harder. Hard things weren’t minimized, and even though so many TEAMmates had very different or way tougher situations, I felt validated. Being able to focus on my condition and then close my email and switch gears when I felt ready, helped me to move past it back to “normal.”
I still feel funny when I hear mention of my condition, but it’s a part of my life now forever, and that’s okay with me. Thank you MyTEAM for helping me get here.
I like this quote: “Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” MyTEAM makes it easy to ask, and has the help ready and waiting for you.
(Age 20).
My introduction to MyTEAM was through the Teen Pages. The article seemed to be taking the words out of my mouth: feeling like nobody else knows what you are going through, keeping it all quiet, no one fully understanding you… After joining MyTEAM, a whole new world was opened up. Even while still maintaining a strong level of privacy, there are so many ways to connect, hear, talk, and discuss — most importantly, making you aware of how many more people know EXACTLY what you are going through.
(Age 21).
I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis a few months before the TP article came out, and let’s just say I was having a very hard time accepting my diagnosis. When I saw the article, I was greatly disturbed. I was feeling angry that I’m different than everyone else. I threw the magazine on the floor and yelled, “I don’t wanna hear about it, I don’t wanna be part of it, I don’t want this!” A few months later, in the summer, I decided that it’s enough and I needed support… but that only people going through the same thing as me could understand. I told my mother, “I’m ready to join MyTEAM.”
My mother made one phone call that opened me up to the amazing MyTEAM team! They put me in touch with two amazing people who totally understood me. My mentors are awesome, and it’s like they take the words out of my mouth, they just get it! They taught me to give myself time to accept, and that makes it much easier. I also love the daily emails, they’re really inspiring. The first thing I do when I come home from school is ask my mother what MyTEAM sent that day.
One day after my infusion, MyTEAM sent an older girl to come visit me. We realized we have inflammation in the exact same spot, same insurance, same hospital, live in the same neighborhood, and are about to start the same medication the next week. Maybe we can even do our infusions together! She has a real bubbly personality and it was so cool to meet a real, live, cute, normal person living just like me!
I want to tell everyone who is fighting an invisible condition that it’s really worth it to join MyTEAM. You will gain so much from it — just do it!!
(Age 13)
myteam4teens@gmail.com
(Originally featured inTeen Pages, Issue 748)
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