Infusions? Being hooked up to an IV every month to get medication? 

It’s funny how comfortable I am now, walking into Dr. Parker’s office. Ma seems to feel the same way, giving the rheumatologist a friendly greeting and motioning for me to begin.

“How are you doing, Libby?” she asks.

Gone are the days of stammering over my symptoms, trying to explain them away, feeling uncomfortable. I’ve learned that what I feel is real, and I’m the best one to advocate for myself. I tell Dr. Parker about the joint pain coming back, the fatigue.

“I don’t know why,” I tell her, a little plaintively. “I’ve been taking the pills every day, reducing the dose like you told me, but it’s just not working.”

She nods sympathetically, “Hmm. It seems that you’re not responding to the other medication with a lower dose of steroids. Looks like it’s time for a change of treatment plan.”

She starts talking options. Here, Ma gets involved again. She asks a million questions, and my mind starts to drift. It’s hard to focus.

Dr. Parker turns back to me when they’re done. “So, how does that sound, Libby?”

I’m embarrassed to ask her to repeat, but my expression gives me away.

“It’s the next-best option,” the rheumatologist explains. “An immunosuppressant medication. You’d do infusions every few weeks, through an IV. That should make a big difference to your symptoms.”

Infusions? Being hooked up to an IV every month to get medication? My stomach muscles tense up.

Nooo way.