Mashiach is coming now, and he’ll make me all better! In a few hours I won’t have ASD anymore

“Ma, I don’t think Chezky slept much last night. He was still up when I went to bed.”

Ouch. It was six a.m., and I hadn’t had my coffee yet. My brain struggled to compute this info. It did not sound good. My oldest daughter goes to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, so if Chezky was still up then….

I went to the (always locked) cabinet where we keep Chezky’s meds. Since he was young, he was never able to fall asleep on his own, and we’d traveled the path from melatonin to other meds, finally finding a mild anti-depressant that did the trick.

Had I forgotten to give him his medicine last night? That would explain the insomnia. But no, Tuesday night’s box was empty. I walked down the hall to his room, sure I’d find him conked out from an all-nighter.

Instead, he was writing something at his desk. He greeted me with a wan face, but a huge smile. “Mommy, I know Mashiach is coming today. I just know it! I’m writing him a letter to ask him to send a refuah sheleimah to all those in our family who need it!”

What a heart Chezky had. Always davening for others, always connecting to Hashem. But practicalities shoved those thoughts aside. “Why are you up so early, Chez? Did you sleep?”

“I couldn’t sleep, because I was too excited! We need to go out right now and buy me a new suit to wear when Mashiach comes today!”

“Umm, Chez, it’s six a.m. Let’s get dressed for the day, and then we can talk.”

I eased his door closed, and feeling sick in the pit of my stomach, dashed to the phone to call Becky, Chezky’s psychiatrist. Becky was an angel of a woman who somehow managed to combine professionalism with true empathy. And she always answered the phone in an emergency, like now.

“The whole night? With his meds? That’s odd.” Her voice was controlled, but I knew her well enough to know she was concerned.

“Can I send him to school today?” The image of the eerie excitement in his eyes as I recalled our morning conversation made me really uneasy to be alone with him all day.

“Tell the teacher that he’ll be tired, and be available by phone.” (Nothing new with that one.)

But by the time Chezky came home in the afternoon, he was more wired than tired.