This small move will start your day on the right foot

I must have fallen asleep on the job! All these decades in which I was busy guiding parents passed, and I didn’t notice a major societal shift. I still regularly encountered parents who insisted on teaching their kids to make “military corners” on their beds in the morning so I didn’t realize that the vast majority of people had, somewhere along the line, stopped making their beds.

The first light dawned for me when a parent asked me about the type of “chores” (is that a word anymore?) that children under the age of ten ought to be doing. I listed all the regulars: cleaning up toys, helping to set or clear a table, and so on, and mentioned making the bed (pulling up the comforter toward the pillow). The parent said that since neither of the adults in the house make their bed, it might be unrealistic to ask the child to do this task.

Yes, that was a good observation. But I was shocked! “What do you mean ‘neither of you make your bed’?” I asked in complete confusion.

“You know, no time, it’s not a priority, we didn’t grow up that way...”

Once I recovered, I decided to do a bit of Google research and quickly learned that two-thirds of the population doesn’t make their beds anymore. Still incredulous, I put out a quick poll of my own. Three thousand parents quickly confirmed my worst fears. Indeed, two-thirds of them don’t ask their kids to make their beds.

Why Bother?

When I was a child so many decades ago, everyone had to make their own bed. And since, in those days, one slept with a sheet and several layers of blankets, one had to have a bit of skill and energy to do the task. But making one’s bed was believed to inculcate the traits of responsibility, appropriate self-care, organizational skills, time management, and self-discipline. It also made the room look nice and set the tone for a good day.

More recently this view was corroborated by former Navy Seal, Naval Adm. William McRaven, ninth commander of U.S. Special Operations Command in the commencement speech he gave urging young adults to make their bed. He explained that doing so starts the day on the right foot, with one small task completed that produces a small feeling of accomplishment that invites the next task and then another, and reinforces the idea that little things matter.

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project promotes bed-making as a step toward positive mindset and emotional well-being.

Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit states “making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity, a greater sense of well-being, and stronger skills at sticking with a budget.” He describes bed-making as a keystone habit that leads to better performance throughout each day.

Personally, I think that making the bed helps to create a mental order. It’s a form of “clearing space,” reducing chaos, bringing a small amount of order and control into our personal space and consequently into our minds. We may not be able to control our loved ones, subdue the pandemic, or prevent political chaos, but we can dominate our comforter and force it into some semblance of order. We can make our bed and then we can go on to do other important things in our corner of the universe; we can do what we can do.

Children Too

Some people refuse to make their bed because their parents made the whole exercise so unpleasant. If you do decide to encourage bed-making, make sure to do so in a positive, affirming manner. Let your youngest kids “help” you pull up the cover or fluff the pillow, as you sing your happy bed-making song. Give praise and a high-five to those older ones who make any effort.

Refrain from any form of duvet-related negativity at all ages. Talk in glowing terms of your own beautifully made bed and let the kids observe your meditative serenity as you smooth your comforter into a sea of calm. And don’t forget, another prize awaits you and your loved ones at the end of your day, as you all crawl into your crisply made beds for a restful night, making that three-minute morning task so worthwhile!

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 733)