“W

atch out!” I yelled. “Everyone duck!”

We all stooped down. A pacifier came hurling in our direction.

Splash! It landed in the fish tank.

“Did Goldy get killed from that catapulting pacifier?” Shuly asked.

We ran to the open fish tank and peered inside. Goldy, our fish, looked a bit dazed as she swam around and around.

“She must’ve gotten a whack on her head,” I said.

I turned to look at baby Benny. I shook a finger at him. “No, no, Benny. Ouch! You made the fishy a big boo-boo!”

Benny giggled and jabbed his pudgy finger into my mouth.

“Yuck!” I said.

“Bam bam! Bam bam!” Benny said.

He called his pacifier a bam bam because it always bammed everyone on the head!

We called Benny the Baby with the Catapulting Pacifier because he would hold the end of the pacifier clip and whirl the pacifier quickly around a few times and then let go. Pow! The pacifier would catapult across the room. The poor person who didn’t duck quick enough! My brother Donny once ended up with a nasty bruise on his forehead because he thought it was so smart of Benny to whirl the pacifier around and around. He didn’t realize that Benny’s favorite part is to suddenly let go and watch the pacifier arc across the room. Well, Donny never made that mistake again!

“No bam bam,” Aunt Pnina said to Benny.

“Bam bam!” Benny said clapping his hands.

“No way!” I said. “You’ll just twirl it again and launch it like a missile!”

“Bam bam!” Benny said again and smacked his little hand on my nose.

“Aunt Pnina,” I said rubbing my nose. “How do you manage with him at home?”

Aunt Pnina shook her head and her blond sheitel shook from side to side. “I don’t. That’s why I’m here.”

“Well,” I said. “Madame Chamberlaine should be here in a few minutes. She loves to help everybody!”

The doorbell rang.

It was Madame Chamberlaine.

She came marching into our house, the tassels on her tichel swinging.

“Bonjour, mes enfants!” she said giving us a hug.

Now really, I don’t know how Benny got his pacifier back, but from the corner of my eye I saw him twirling his hands and oh, no!

“Duck, everyone!” I yelled.

The catapulting pacifier flew across the air and landed right between Madame Chamberlaine’s eyes!

“Oh la la!” she said massaging the spot. “What was that?”

“Madame,” I said. “I don’t know how you say pacifier in French, but you gotta teach Benny how to stop throwing one!”

Madame laughed. “That missile came from Benny? Ooh, he has des mains fortes!”

She bent down and removed the clip from the pacifier.

She gave the pacifier without the clip back to Benny.

“Here, Benny! You can have your sucette back now,” she said.

Wham!

Benny threw the pacifier right into Madame’s face.

(Excerpted from Mishpacha Jr., Issue 753)