P arshas Mishpatim

“Distance yourself from falsehood.” (Shemos 23:7) 

The gemara in Shevuos (31a) says: Two people came to judgment; one was wearing rags and the other elegant expensive clothing. The judge said “Either dress like him or he should dress like you so you shouldn’t cause us to favor someone.”

It’s interesting to note that clothes make such a difference. The gemara in Yevamos (109b) says that a judge must picture himself as if he has a sword between his legs and Gehinnom is underneath him. With such thoughts why would he be swayed by someone’s appearance?

In addition the pasuk in Devarim (1:17) gives another command to a judge not to fear anyone. So what difference does it make if the two plaintiffs change clothing — the judge knows what they look like! A minute ago he commanded them to switch clothes and now he’s able to judge them fairly because they did so?

From here we learn the power of appearances. Even a holy person can sin via his eyes yet when the view is taken away he returns to his senses. (Rav Yehudah Leib Chasman Or Yahel)

I stopped byHadassahHospitalto visit a friend and took the escalator to the main building. As I rode up I found myself staring at the back of the woman just ahead of me. She was very tall thin and dressed in understated elegance that spoke of wealth right down to her suede boots.

“Wow” I thought to myself. Uncharacteristic envy surged through me. “She looks like a million bucks. I wish I looked like that.”

The escalator reached the top and the woman stepped off and turned down the hall.

It was only then that I noticed the oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose.

This warning to distance ourselves from falsehood is not just for judges but for every one of us to detach ourselves from appearances that influence us. We have to be careful not to judge and honor people according to their clothing or social status but to relate to each person according to his or her true characteristics.

Recognizing the danger of appearances should make us wary but at the same time reassure us that we merit the Torah to be our eyes and protect us from this danger. (ibid.)

Despite that encounter my neighbor Chedvah Cohen intimidated me. Chedvah’s a balabusta par excellence and her kids are always perfectly turned-out. When the aromas of her four-course suppers waft into my kitchen it makes my mac ’n cheese shudder.

Recently the Cohens redid their house no holds barred. My kids kept me constantly updated on the grand innovations the Cohens were implementing. By the time they were finished I was really curious to see the apartment. When I finally went over to borrow a cup of sugar the white cabinets marble counters and shining floors blinded me.

I trudged back home with sugar freshly baked muffins that Chedvah pressed upon me and a massive inferiority complex.

This danger of false appearances relates to the yetzer hara as well. The yetzer hara appears to a person like a rich man in gorgeous clothing as he entices him with all sorts of promises. On the opposite side is the yetzer hatov which we see like a poor person hovering in the doorway — all he has to offer is a future of Olam Haba.

The gemara in Berachos (5b) says a person should always make war against the yetzer hara and not favor him. To be victorious he must tear the elegant clothing off the yetzer hara and reveal the rags that are his true raiment.  In the end the fancy appearances will not accompany a person to the Next World. He’ll take nothing with him except mitzvos and maasim tovim. (ibid.)

A few weeks ago Chedvah’s daughter got engaged. I sent a platter of brownies to the vort and tried not to notice the trifles and miniatures Chedvah had made herself. She probably had everything baked and sitting in her freezer from the time the shidduch was redt.

I wasn’t prepared when my husband mentioned casually “Do you know anyone who has some extra money for hachnassas kallah? The neighbors are trying to put something together for the Cohens. They’re having a hard time pulling off this wedding because they’re in massive debt from their renovations.”

Amazing how quickly Chedvah’s house lost its sheen.