Coming back from seminary in Eretz Yisrael is always an adjustment, but this year’s homecoming is unique. A seasoned mechanches tackles the issues you may be facing

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arch 12, 2020 has become known to seminary girls as That Thursday.

It had been a hectic few weeks. Seminary play season, Israeli election drama, and most importantly, Purim: Chagigah prep, yemei iyun, mishloach manos tumult, and Purim seudah plans in and out of Yerushalayim.

Thursday, the day after Shushan Purim, was slated to launch the productive two weeks of serious learning before Rosh Chodesh Nissan and Pesach break.

Instead, morning dawned to the realization that coronavirus was real. Flights were starting to look iffy and girls realized they’d better figure out where they wanted to get stuck after Pesach because restrictions were tightening. Girls who had been planning to go home made the quick decision to stay put in seminary, and many who intended to stay were scrambling for tickets.

That was in the morning.

As the day went on, the changing directives from the Israeli government were coming so fast we could hardly keep up.

By noon everything had been turned on its head, and by late afternoon, as the Eastern Seaboard was barely washing negel vasser, we were already saying goodbye to waves of girls heading for the airport. Twelve hours later, they were home.

I’m always amazed by my students. Naysayers talk about “kids these days” and millennials, but if you want to reignite your faith in humanity you should meet the girls I know. In conversations with students, I’m hearing about excellent coping skills, beautifully adjusting relationships, and continued growth and learning.

Nonetheless, the challenges are real. Here are some of what seminary girls may be facing — and ways to rise above.

Help! I’m Mortal!

You realized it wasn’t The Perfect You arriving back home, with flaws a thing of the past. And yet, join the club, you may still be disappointed by just how human you really are. Your davening may have suffered, or you may have slipped regarding entertainment options you never wanted to go near again. Perhaps bad middos you thought you’d beat are rearing their heads. Changed circumstances means adjusting to different challenges.

This might be the first time in your life that your time is your own and what you’re doing now is very telling. What if it’s showing you that you’re not nearly as strong as you thought?

Our social circle is the most powerful source of influence we have. If your friends are staying strong, you should be doing well, too. If you’re sliding, my guess is you’re not as connected to your growth-oriented friends from seminary as you could be.

Find out what girls are up to. How do they avoid keeping their afternoons from falling into disappointing patterns? Brainstorm together and be there for each other. There’s powerful strength that can be drawn from the company we keep.

As for failure, it’s not an unfortunate detour, but part of the program. In Rav Hutner’s famous words:

The tzaddik will fall seven times and get up. The unintelligent think that this means, “Even though a tzaddik falls seven times, he will get up.” The wise know well that this means, “Because a tzaddik falls seven times, he will get up.” (Igros U’Kesavim, pp.217–218) 

Failure, when used properly, makes you great.

One of the biggest mistakes when you break your diet and take a truffle is to give up and finish the entire box. Life is not all or nothing. If you’re sliding, cut your losses. Don’t wallow in negativity or give up. Rather, force yourself to put on the brakes and move past it. If you can do better today than you did yesterday, you’re a heroine.

In Eretz Yisrael you were running a marathon. Now, without your consistent trips to the Kosel, with roommates scattered across the globe, and distance learning, you’re running a marathon with weights on your feet. What looks like less ground covered is not any less impressive.