SENSE OF PURPOSE I once asked Alex why he didn’t get a regular job. He looked at me then at the van — “But I drive these people….” That was his purpose as he saw it

H e didn’t come on Friday. He will never come again. I am surprised at the sense of loss I feel for someone I hardly knew.

Alex was a meshulach. Every Friday he would drive his van of poor people around Fair Lawn to collect tzedakah contributions. He always had a smile on his face he always apologized if he felt he was interrupting me he always understood if I was in the middle of davening and he had to come back later.

He accepted what I gave him with graciousness. When I gave I always took care to look not at the money but at his face because I wanted him to feel my joy in doing it to not feel demeaned by taking.

We had brief conversations. Once he had a prolonged sore throat and I admonished him to stop smoking. He acknowledged the rightness of that advice but also the difficulty of following it. I would ask about his son and he would tell me if he was okay or if he was worried about him.

He knew when I was sick with cancer and always seemed concerned about how I felt. “How you feel? Good? Your family? Good? Everything good?” And when I answered yes he would reply “Baruch Hashem!” with a big sweet smile.

He shared in my happiness upon the birth of a grandchild or any joyous family event. And he would add: “You nice lady. You good lady.” He made me feel appreciated; I hope I helped him feel that he mattered.

He would remind me of Rosh Chodesh when he wished me a good chodesh and he would wish me well before all the Yamim Tovim.

For a long time I would prepare fruit for all the passengers in his van. After all my relationship with Alex helped me feel that all his comrades were my guests and I enjoyed offering them something to ease their long hours traveling. He thanked me and I knew that with that small gesture I was treating them with a little more respect.

One Friday he was very concerned about Tzippy one of his passengers who had asthma and was having difficulty breathing. I left my Shabbos preparations and led the van to the medical attention center where Tzippy was treated urgently. Somehow that experience bound me to Alex — we were partners in saving Tzippy. Subsequently he would let me know when Tzippy was in Israel visiting her family I would inquire about her and he would assure me that she was well.

I once asked Alex why he didn’t get a regular job. He looked at me then at the van — “But I drive these people…” (excerpted)