I keep returning to this narrow space

I

live on the narrow border between Hope and Despair. Each place has its own struggles, its own risks. I spend my days moving between them.

To my right, there’s Hope. An additional perek of Tehillim. Another round of the Prayer Pact. Hope is the rented storage room filled with 12 years of linens, pots, multiple sets of dishes, and oh so many gorgeous vases — beautiful things waiting for a future home. Hope has me picturing what kind of wife I’d like to be, the kind of mother I dream of becoming.

Hope lifts me up. It gives me a reason to keep choosing life, to continue planning for a different future. A future with a beautiful baby crawling around in a timeless knitted two-piece.