I now stand before You, G-d, and battle and wrestle on the next level

I

tried to fight with promises.

I promised never to judge others. I promised to stay humble. I promised to focus on truth, to be more honest, to value inner beauty and not externals. I promised to attribute all future success in my life to You.

I tried spiritual warfare.

I won’t waste time. I will use all my extra time to bring glory to You. I will make more time for the lonely and the poor and teach more… for free — but please, G-d, You have to help me.

I fought with prayer.

Oh, how I fought with prayer and tears. If tears and crying were explosives, I would have blown up all the planets by now. I locked myself in my room for hours pleading and praying, beseeching. I swayed and prayed and cried and knelt down and begged and pleaded — please, G-d, change this reality for me.