Naomi Streicher

Q Home Sales

One thing I’d love to change

I think people should buy a house as soon as they get married, or at least within the first year or two. In my work, I see that many couples only look to buy a home once they have four or five kids — at which point, money is tight because of so many other obligations.

Some savvy parents educate their children on the value of owning real estate. Many have the ability to help with some of the down payment to get their children started buying a house right away. The kids don’t always move in immediately, but at least they own something, and its value does grow. It doesn’t have to be the home they want to live in — you can invest and buy in Texas — just buy something that makes sense. If a house is unaffordable, buying a lower priced condo or apartment is also a good investment.

A lot of young people nowadays spend their money freely and waste it. It’s nice to travel, eat out in restaurants, and enjoy life, but if they own an apartment or a house, they are building future equity that will come in handy. Being homeowners will give them a sense of responsibility and it is good for the marriage, as it creates stability in the home.

My message to couples is: Even if you move to Israel to start off, or you don’t know where you want to live, just buy something, somewhere, and let it grow.

One thing I’d never change

When a family sells a home, they often introduce the buyers to the neighbors, making sure they feel welcome and bringing them into the local neighborhood, which is really nice and unique to our community.

Mrs. Leah Pinkovics

Yeshiva Nachlei Torah

One thing I’d love to change

“Vi es goyish zach, Yiddelt zach.” What starts with the non-Jews eventually ends up with the Jews. Unfortunately, since we are in galus, the world we live in has infiltrated our lives, bringing liberal values with it.

“Happy children” has become a goal in our society. People are always worried, “Is my kid happy?” The elusive search is not sated by quick fixes. Many of the incentives, pizza and prizes, ,etc. which have unfortunately infiltrated our chinuch have no impact on the children’s happiness as we are continually raising the wants of our children without fulfilling our quest for happy children. A well deserved reward in recognition of true accomplishments has its place but on its own has no impact on a child’s true happiness after the pizza is eaten and the prize has lost its allure

The mothers who feel that the child who has few or no responsibility in the home will be happier or it’s not worth the fight have taken away the true joy of accomplishment. A productive child at home and in school is a happy child!

We see kids in kindergarten waiting for the cleaning lady to pick up their toys and tenth graders who don’t know how to make a tuna sandwich. These are kids who have been denied the opportunity to grow up and take responsibility. If we just give them party after party, we have taken away the joy of accomplishment.

The problem is that genuine happiness cannot come from stuff. The happiest kids around are the ones who have responsibilities and feel a sense of productive achievement. The joy of accomplishment is genuine and breeds growth. A child who accomplishes a goal will feel, “I can do this. It feels good when I do this. I want to do more. I want to learn more.”

We need to see that the liberal approach is not working for us. We need to change our perspective and understand that happiness is not the ultimate goal. The goal is a productive, settled, accomplished child. And that goal is more in line with our deepest hopes of seeing Yiddishe nachas.

One thing I’d never change

The adage “It takes a village to raise a child” may not be accurate but the sacred partnership between parent and yeshivah must always remain. The goal of the yeshivos are to work in tandem to fulfill the  responsibility of “Veshinantam levanecha.” I am fortunate that the parents in our yeshivah are fully on board with the principles and principals. Our common goals are realized as the talmidim feel secure and shteig.

In situations where the partnership is frayed, the child feels the disconnect. The feeling that the yeshivah and parents are not on the same page will have a negative impact. Where the child feels he can “tell on the rebbi” to his parents, then he is off the hook from shteiging altogether. I tell young mothers sometimes, “A school is not a microwave where you can put a kid in, press some buttons, and get a baal middos and talmid chacham with fully developed skills. Sending to a school means that you want to partner with that school, hand in hand, to educate your child and propel him forward.” That partnership is our children’s strength.

Dr. Moshe Lazar

Pediatrician

One thing I’d love to change

We have to get better at streamlining. Unfortunately, there is overlap between these wonderful organizations, and most have huge overhead costs, with a vast budget needed just to stay functioning. Maybe each organization could specialize in just one area, and they could work together to narrow the budgets and get the resources to the people in need.

One thing I’d never change

The chesed institutions we have are absolutely amazing.

From transporting a patient to the hospital to providing food for the family to referrals for doctors to rehabilitation and recovery, I make one phone call and it happens. One of the most heartbreaking moments I experience as a pediatrician is when I have to tell a new mother that her child has Down syndrome. I cannot describe the pain, and there is nothing I can say or do to alleviate it. But I can call an organization who connects this new mother with many other mothers who have experienced this pain, and they know the words to say to help the new mom embrace her child and her new reality. This is done regardless of level of religious practice — if any at all. I cannot imagine any illness or diagnosis for which there is no organization to call to help parents going through these painful times. Mi k’amcha Yisrael….

You cannot find this in any community anywhere in the world except ours.

Esty Rubinfeld

Sleek Travel

One thing I’d love to change

We need to change our expectation that it’s always possible to find a good deal. People call in and expect a good deal but I wish they understood that prices have gone up drastically. Booking in advance is usually a smart idea. Waiting until the last minute is risky, especially with a large family. And then there’s the expectation that it’s going to be easy. Travel is not a breeze nowadays, especially with a baby or two!

One thing I’d never change

I’d never change how Jewish people are prepared to travel to stay connected with family and be there for each other. Sometimes, people tell me that they are paying amounts they can’t afford to be there for a family wedding, or for a grandfather to be sandek at a bris. Family and family simchahs are very important to us, and people will go to great lengths for them.

There is plenty to admire about the Yidden who prioritize spiritual values over convenience or money. I have customers who schedule flights based on when they’ll be able to daven with a minyan. I even have a few clients who will pay for more expensive tickets so their bochurim can fly to Eretz Yisrael directly, in order to minimize exposure to immodesty at airports. These are people who don’t spend money easily, but they will spend for their spiritual values and protection.

Mrs. Rochel Goldbaum

Kallah Teacher

One thing I’d love to change

I would love to eradicate all but one of the gifts for chassan and kallah. Anything that is “expected” is no longer a gift. It doesn’t bring a sense of wonder and joy and appreciation. Besides, I think the long roster of expected gifts causes undue financial stress on the parents. If they really have the money, better to give it to the couple so they can start off marriage with a savings account, and work toward a down payment on a future home!

One thing I’d never change

I love that it’s a given that when a girl gets engaged, she connects immediately with a kallah teacher for one-on-one lessons (unlike in years past where girls learned in groups). Most kallah teachers today give hours of lessons in both hashkafah and halachah to every girl. This is the most important part of wedding preparation, and I find that parents value it immensely. The kallah teaching world has improved and expanded in so many ways. There is a lot of continuing education for this group — I help lead a group of 490 kallah teachers worldwide who continuously learn and strive to keep up with the needs of the current kallah. The individual relationship with the kallah teacher can be such an important resource for after marriage.

Rebbetzin Newhouse

Camp Bais Yaakov

One thing I’d love to change

I would like every piece of clothing brought to camp to be labeled. We see so much left behind. Parents pay good money for their kids’ clothing, and I’d love if they’d label their stuff with names and phone numbers so it could all go back to them. Recently, since we’ve been reminding all campers about this, we have seen less clothing in the Lost and Found. When I find skirts and tops and dresses with names on them, I make sure to return them. I take bags back to my house with clothing to go to Passaic and Monsey. People are very happy to retrieve their belongings.

One thing I’d never change

We’ve been in the camp business for a long time, and we roll with the punches and change to keep up with the times. One thing I hope will never change is the beautiful singing. Every Friday night and Shabbos in camp, and at campfires and meals during the week, the girls sit together and sing. The singing creates unbelievable warmth; it’s a source of strength for the girls and stays alive in their memories for a long time.

Aryeh Spilman

Fine Art Catering, Lakewood cheder halls,
Fountain Ballroom, and Kesser Moshe Yehuda

One thing I’d love to change

I wish everyone would make their weddings with a straight meal, like the chassidish crowd does it, not split in half with the dancing in the middle. This would make the whole event smoother. Split-meal weddings are designed so that the chassan and kallah enter after the soup and there’s a long first dance in the middle of the meal. And that means that guests who came from further away to share in your simchah often don’t get to eat supper. They are forced to stay late if they want to eat the main course. It would be nicer for guests if the seudah was served first, followed by a dance, with a break for dessert, and then more dancing. That way, if someone has to leave earlier, the meal has been served, and guests can stay for dancing as long as they want to.

One thing I’d never change

The simchah element is amazing. Frum weddings have a wonderful atmosphere, where everyone is in a good mood, happy and excited. I think I’m in the best line of work, because I get to see people at their happiest.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 913)