Fishel and Faivish Friedman could not understand why the entire school was abuzz over some ridiculous Spelling Bee. It was something they had zero interest in, and could see no earthly use for.

“Who needs Spelling Bees?” grumbled Fishel. “Waste of time, in my opinion.”

“Yeah,” Faivish agreed with his brother for a change. “People could be doing useful stuff, like… like… well, stuff that’s a lot more useful than spelling, at any rate. Instead, they’re walking around in a daze, muttering strings of letters all day long.”

“Well, I’m not going to waste a single second on spelling,” declared Fishel. “Who cares how a word is spelled? As long as you can read it, it’s good enough.”

“Mm-hmm.” Faivish nodded vigorously.

As the day of the Spelling Bee drew nearer, Fishel and Faivish remained resolutely anti-spelling, much to the despair of their English teacher, who was getting fed up with adorning all their homework with reams of red pen. Not that it made a bit of difference to the troublesome pair, mind you; they just carried on making the same mistakes as before.

The day after the competition they arrived home from cheder feeling even more tired and hungry than usual. But instead of being greeted at the door by a sympathetic Mrs. Friedman, ready to ply them with food and drink, they found her scurrying around the kitchen looking flustered.

“Oh, hello, Fishel and Faivish,” she muttered distractedly. “Daddy’s bringing some important business associates home for tea, and I’m trying to get everything ready. I need you to run out to the store.”

“Okay,” Fishel and Faivish agreed obligingly.

“Here’s a pen and paper, make a list,” Mrs. Friedman instructed nervously. “It’s really important we make a good impression on these guests.”

Fishel waited, pen poised.

“Get two loaves of rye bread. And tuna spread,” instructed Mrs. Friedman.

Fishel nodded as he scribbled busily.

“Oh, and mousse for dessert.”

Fishel added the last item.

“And hurry,” Mrs. Friedman adjured them. “I need these items as soon as possible.”

“Okay,” chorused Fishel and Faivish.

This is what Fishel and Faivish’s shopping list actually looked like:

-2 rise

-Chewna spred

-Mouse

The brothers raced off. They passed Jolly Solly’s house on the way, stopping to admire the colorful walls, before remembering they were supposed to be in a hurry.

When they reached Gavriel’s grocery store, they checked their shopping list.

“What’s the first item?” asked Fishel briskly.

Faivish eyed the words “2 rise” doubtfully. It must be “rice” he figured.

“Two packs of rice,” he declared confidently.

Fishel tossed two packets of rice into the shopping basket.

“Next item is chew something. I can’t read your writing,” Faivish complained.

“Chewing gum, I guess,” decided Fishel airily, selecting a pink packet. “What’s next?”

“Mouse.”

“What? Mouse? How is that possible? Give me that list.”

(Excerpted from Mishpacha Jr., Issue 734)