Egocentricity means that I look at the world through my personal glasses

Dina's Take

Hi, My name is Dina.

I have a great group of friends who are popular and fun-loving. We all go to the same school and get along very well. I’m very grateful for the friendships we have.

There’s just one problem.

I’m pretty much the only one in my circle of friends that isn’t as materialistically well-off as the rest of them, particularly my friend Ruchoma. It’s not that they brag or flaunt what they have — I’m just embarrassed to let them see my house or the car my mom drives. When my mother pulls up in her less-than-cool, pre-owned minivan with peeling burgundy paint, I want to hide my face or ask her to pull away and meet me at the corner so my friends don’t see me getting into it. I pretty much never ask them to come over. Ruchoma always asks me why we never meet by my house and I constantly make excuses: My mother’s having a meeting, my sisters have playdates and they’ll get in the way... I’m pretty innovative. I can’t handle the idea of them seeing my house or my room. I share a room with my two younger sisters and the place is always a mess. Our clothes are stuffed haphazardly into one closet, shoes are in every corner and the tacky shades and wallpaper are definitely in need of a fashionable update. And speaking of fashion, I can’t seem to keep up with the latest trends and accessories that they are always acquiring. Last month, it was this charm bracelet that every girl who’s cool seemed to own. I know my parents can’t afford to get me these things. My only way out is to pretend I don’t care to have them when really I just can’t afford to care, whether I like it or not.

What should I do? How do I alleviate this pressure on myself? Is it wrong to be embarrassed of my circumstances? Do I address the issue or do I continue to pretend that I’m fine with it all, in order not to feel ashamed?