"And you murmured in your tents and said ‘Because Hashem hated us He has brought us forth out of the land of Mitzrayim to deliver us into the hands of the Emori.’ ” (Devarim 1:27)

Rashi explains that the term “murmuring” refers to speaking slander and evil.

When we think about the lessons of bein hameitzarim we have to trace the source of these painful weeks.

Midrash Rabbah discusses the pasuk “And the nation cried on this night” (Bamidbar 14:1). Hashem said: “You cried for no reason I’ll establish for you a time of crying for generations.” That’s when it was decreed that the Beis Hamikdash be destroyed and Yisrael exiled.

The source of the Churban was the lashon hara of the Meraglim. Eretz Yisrael cannot tolerate lashon hara and exiles those who speak it. (Rav Moshe Schwab Maarchei Lev)

It was soooo hot. The sun felt like a ball of fire pulsating with heat setting my whole house ablaze. The kids were hot and sticky whining constantly.

“I’m broiling!”

“I’m bored!”

“I’m hungry!”

I felt like the Nine Days were Nine Years. Laundry was piling up and I had no idea what to serve for supper beyond macaroni and cheese yet again. The heat was draining everyone and I couldn’t even promise the kids a bubble bath to cool off.

The incident of the Meraglim is juxtaposed to the incident of Miriam’s tzaraas as it says: “These resha’im saw and didn’t learn a lesson” (Rashi Bamidbar 13:2). They didn’t learn the lesson not to see the bad. The land that Hashem promised them is a land flowing with milk and honey. It’s a land with a spiritual reality that’s essentially good as the pasuk testifies “A land... that has the eyes of Hashem your G–d always on it from the beginning of the year until the end of the year” (Devarim 11:12). The reason they saw Eretz Yisrael as a difficult land that eats its inhabitants is only because they were people who habitually saw the bad in things. (ibid.)

“C’mon kids!” I tried to be cheerful. “Let’s play a board game.”

“But it’s sooo hot!”

“And we’re bored with board games!”

My attempts to shift the mood weren’t working because bottom line I agreed with them. I too was hot and bored. How I wished that I could just dive into cool water and let my problems wash away.

A person’s actions and speech stem from his outlook and perspective. A person who habitually has a good outlook on life will see the good in everything. Conversely an evil person will speak evil because that’s all he sees. (ibid.)

I’ve always thought that the way to fight lashon hara was to lock up the words and squelch them each time they try to escape. To tell myself a thousand times a day to be quiet. Don’t say this don’t say that. No lashon hara.

But now I realize that not speaking lashon hara means not thinking it in the first place. It means choosing to believe that the good exists. Then you no longer need to fight the words and keeping quiet is much easier.

During bein hameitzarim we want to strengthen ourselves so we’ll be closer to Hashem. Therefore we must learn not to be habitual speakers of lashon hara. If we focus our thoughts and speech to be consistently positive we’ll merit seeing Hashem’s chesed. Through this we’ll beseech Him to allow us to see the consolation of Tzion and Yerushalayim. (ibid.)

“Okay kids I have a great idea!”

My tone of voice must have conveyed a shift in mood because immediately the kids perked up.

“We’re doing a project! A scrapbook! Right now!”

“What kind of scrapbook?” asked my son as my daughter ran for scissors and glue.

“A scrapbook of all the good in our lives. Of all the things we love and enjoy!”

“Hooray! I’m drawing an ice cream page!”

“And I want a picture of my new shoes!”

“I’m drawing our whole family!”

I sat with the kids busily cutting drawing and pasting. I too created a page. I drew the sun glowing yellow lighting up my home and the hearts of us all.

And I hope I’m bringing closer the day when we’ll be zocheh to add a page to our Nation’s book. A picture of the Beis Hamikdash descending in all its glory.