Is seminary in some ways the frum manifestation of the gap year?

In Issue 1100, Shmuel Winiarz penned a stirring defense of the seminary year in Eretz Yisrael against the many criticisms that have risen against it — the main objection being the prohibitive cost. This week, Mishpacha presents an opposing view, by Mr. Winiarz’s father-in-law, Mr. Peretz Perl.

The conversation continues

This comes in response to “In Defense of Seminary” by Shmuel Winiarz. I have the privilege of knowing Mr. Winiarz very well. By way of full disclosure, he is the beloved and devoted husband of our daughter and father of our grandchildren. He is passionate about his Yiddishkeit and clearly articulate about his feelings for Eretz Yisrael. And as he knows from our years of discussion, in my humble opinion, he is wrong on this topic. I do agree with his choice of title, because the topic does beg for a defense.

While he is a self-described “amateur historian” (and he is very knowledgeable; I describe myself as more of a professional nudnik), his essay ignored the historical context of the seminary phenomenon. Specifically, its startling recency and rapid progression. The introduction of the now ubiquitous year in Eretz Yisrael was not a 1940s-era development like that of Rebbetzin Kaplan’s Bais Yaakov of Williamsburg, which spared people like my mother a”h from having to go to public high school. Nor is it akin to other dramatic improvements in frum life from those decades like, for example, the advances in organized kashrus.

The seminary year in Eretz Yisrael was a development that emerged quite suddenly between 1980 and 2000, before which it was a relatively uncommon route taken by a few idealistic young ladies willing to put their young adult lives on hold for a year. My older sisters — baby boomers themselves — report that virtually none of their classmates chose this. It then progressed with almost linear mathematical precision to being an option pursued by perhaps half of new high school graduates by 1990 (my wife’s era), and then nearly 100 percent by the early 2000s.

We had already produced two generations of Bais Yaakov high school graduates, pillars of our community who became the well-respected mothers and grandmothers of today’s students, and who would likely be amused by the suggestion that their chinuch and commitment to Yiddishkeit were in any way lacking because they were not afforded this opportunity. The seminary year in Eretz Yisrael was simply not a development that emerged from any sense of urgency from our Torah leadership.

Put differently, the phenomenon of seminary in Eretz Yisrael did not emerge to solve any identifiable problem, but it did create a few. So what did happen?

Ageneration of mostly baby boomer parents — through the great chesed of Hashem — found themselves with greater disposable income than their parents ever had, and slowly but surely, each year a few more girls started indulging in this admittedly very attractive and enjoyable option. Then, when the percentage reached a critical mass of about 65% to 70%, peer pressure turned it into an irresistible tsunami.

In response to the burgeoning demand, the supply side responded with many new seminaries opening in that era. I do not begrudge people spending their money as they see fit, nor those willing to supply a product in response to a demand. The overwhelming majority of fathers of girls I’ve spoken to over the years admit this — some more openly than others. And the few rabbanim I’ve asked about it tend to plead the Fifth, which in itself is telling.

I do not deny the seminary year’s many benefits as described by my dear son-in-law (although I think he overdramatizes some of them). But there are many things in life that present potential benefits. The question becomes, at what cost?

He does address the elephant in the room of the enormous expense of the seminary year, and he suggests efforts to mitigate that are far from one-size-fits-all. But even if the net differential can be reduced to $10,000 of after-tax income, that is far from trivial, and for many working-class families, this can be the source of many lost nights of sleep. And my son-in-law’s suggestion that such people simply make the difficult choice to prioritize is a lot easier said than done, as I’m sure he knows.

In the secular world, the “gap year” has become increasingly common. Could it be that seminary is in some ways the frum manifestation of the gap year? “Vi es christled zich, yeedelt zich,” the expression goes.

Lastly, there is the law of unintended consequences, and one that has emerged is its impact on the already fraught topic of shidduchim. What happens to a girl’s shidduch résumé now, if chas v’shalom it indicates that she did not attend seminary in Eretz Yisrael? There may be any number of good reasons for that, but what will boys (or more likely their mothers) infer from that? Is there something wrong with her? Is she antisocial? Or — more likely whispered — “Do they not have enough money?”

Was this a positive development? Did we really need yet another proxy for the material focus that already plays a frighteningly outsized role in our shidduch process? Anytime a phenomenon is pushed as being required in large part because “if you don’t, your child won’t get any dates,” it should give you pause as to the real value of the phenomenon.

ASan actuary, I’m a person who appreciates data far more than anecdotes and personal speculations. I’d love to see a robust survey of the girls themselves, perhaps ten years after returning from seminary when they’re raising their young families. I’d like to hear their candid opinions on whether asking their parents to foot that bill was really so critical to their development as good bnos Yisrael, or whether it was just a blast that they appreciated getting to experience. I know of at least one such wonderful example in my family, now raising her beautiful young family, who recently said: “I don’t have a problem with a year to party, but let’s call it what it is.”

I wish my son-in-law nothing but brachah, hatzlachah, and nachas in continuing to do the wonderful job he is doing with our precious grandchildren, and when the time comes for them to potentially study in Eretz Yisrael, may we all already be there with them with Mashiach Tzidkeinu.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1102.