Kavanah is what transforms our tefillah from an eisek meis to an eisek chai

“How do I improve my kavanah in tefillah?” It’s one of the most common questions I’m asked by my seminary students. We all struggle with this; most of us can find the time to mutter a quick, passionless Shemoneh Esreh, but the real challenge is committing to a daily, emotionally charged tefillah.

Kavanah is what transforms our tefillah from an eisek meis to an eisek chai.

What is our obligation in kavanah for Shemoneh Esreh? Is it an exercise in translating biblical Hebrew? Are we expected to know the meaning of each and every word, the difference between “chus” and “racheim,” or “nisecha” and “nifleosecha”?

The Gemara (Eiruvin 65a) teaches: “Rabi Eliezer says, one who returns from a journey should refrain from tefillah for three days.” Rashi explains that after an exhausting trip one lacks the requisite mental focus for engaging in tefillah.

Imagine if we followed this directive today! Anyone who traveled for work would be exempt from davening for the greater part of the year.

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 98) ensures we don’t mistake the import of this Gemara: “Don’t daven in a place that interferes with your kavanah, or at a time that inhibits kavanah. Now, we’re no longer cautious in this respect for we don’t have proper kavanah in tefillah.”

If approximately 500 years ago the Shulchan Aruch recognized the challenges of maintaining kavanah in davening, is there any hope for us?

The Mishnah Berurah qualifies this statement for our “modern” era: “It’s clear that nonetheless, when a person wishes to daven, and is in a state of anger or a similar (emotional state), he should first remove all encumbering thoughts” (ibid).

How do we actually put this into practice, especially considering that for most of us, our day is essentially a relay race propelling us from one “encumbering thought” to the next? Is there a working formula for achieving and maintaining a basic level of kavanah?

Understanding and Awareness

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 98) cites two obligations for kavanah in Shemoneh Esreh: Understanding the words of the tefillah and maintaining awareness that we’re standing before the Shechinah.

Let’s focus on the second obligation.

“And when you daven, know before Whom you stand” (Berachos 28b). When we take three steps back and three steps forward, we depart our present reality and enter a sacred space. Because when we daven Shemoneh Esreh, we’re genuinely standing before Hashem in intimate conversation.

The halachos relating to Shemoneh Esreh corroborate this. We may not cross four amos in front of someone engaged in Shemoneh Esreh, nor sit within four amos on either side of him (Orach Chayim 102). A firewall of Shechinah inhabits the four amos surrounding us when we speak directly to Hashem.

For the entire duration of Shemoneh Esreh, we speak in first person to Hashem, another indication that we’re engaged in conversation with Him.

When we conclude Shemoneh Esreh, we take three steps back and bow first to the left and then to the right. Why do we bow left first? Doesn’t the right side always take precedence? It does, and we’re bowing first to Hashem’s right side…which correlates to our left.

Years ago, someone described a man they overheard davening at the Kosel. His tefillah sounded like a discussion with a trusted friend. At one point, the man repeated something he’d just said and, as in a “normal” conversation with another person, he apologized: “Oh, I’m sorry, I told You that already.”

This is our goal when we daven Shemoneh Esreh: To be so aware of Hashem’s presence that we speak to Him with the face-to-face quality of a conversation.

This may resonate with some of us. But for many others, it feels unattainable. Why is it so hard to envision that we’re literally speaking with Hashem?

Engaged in Conversation

Rav Uri Weissblum (He'aros Hatefillah) explains our dissonance: We don’t have adequate faith in the “romemus hanefesh,” the caliber of our soul. We think: How can I, a mere mortal, engage in direct conversation with Hashem?! But this is precisely the privilege that we, bearers of a neshamah, merit.

There’s another reason we may find it challenging to daven with the cognizance that Hashem is literally facing us.

Sometimes (particularly when I'm unsuccessfully multitasking) my children are halfway through a conversation with me before I even realize that I’m partaking in a conversation. Other times I’m in the midst of a conversing with someone who I assumed was listening, but in fact wasn’t. When it comes to conversation, even if we’re ready to talk, there’s no guarantee we’ve engaged the listener.

Shemoneh Esreh is a discourse between two parties, both of whom must be engaged. We may have taken three steps backwards and forwards and commenced davening, but have we considered whether we’ve “engaged” Hashem?

In Shearim B’tefillah, Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus describes “disengaged” tefillah as a person who wishes to converse with the King, but is stuck outside the palace, too distant from him for anything to be audible.  This is the reality of a person who has yet to engage Hashem.

Rav Pincus explains that to properly “engage” Hashem before Shemoneh Esreh, we must first prepare ourselves for a conversation with the King. The Shulchan Aruch suggests that one prepare for one hour prior to tefillah, and spend an additional hour afterward.

This hourlong “preparation” before and after Shemoneh Esreh was practiced by pious Jews several hundred years ago and is no longer practiced by most people. Most of us find it nearly impossible to carve out an hour for tefillah itself on a regular weekday.

But we need some level of preparation before beginning Shemoneh Esreh. Realistically, we could probably sit for no more than 10 or 15 seconds before commencing tefillah. If we try to invest more time, we may find our thoughts meandering far from matters of tefillah.

What should we actually do during this time?

One of the most crucial things we can do is put our phone far, far away, where we can’t hear its ringing or pinging. We should choose a location that’s most conducive to focusing; busy hallways, large windows, bookshelves with interesting titles, or a hectic kitchen are all areas best avoided.

Then we must remove all "encumbering thoughts." All the issues cluttering our minds will be addressed at different points throughout the Shemoneh Esreh. Until that point, let's assign them "muktzeh" status, secure in the knowledge that they'll wait patiently until their "slot." Now is the time to focus on our audience with Hashem.

Mesillas Yesharim describes hachanah before Shemoneh Esreh as a three-part process: Consider that you’re about to speak with Hashem in a conversation as authentic as with any other human being; consider the utter perfection that’s Hashem and that He’s the only One who can truly remedy any of life’s issues; and consider how insignificant and earthly you are compared with Hashem’s perfection, and allow that realization to engender fear and awe for the conversation that’s about to take place.

Then, as you take three steps forward, concentrate on the fact that you’re entering that sacred space, to speak face-to-face with Hashem, who’s waiting patiently for the conversation to begin.

Mrs. Elana Moskowitz has been teaching in seminaries for nearly 20 years.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 772)