I Think
| December 21, 2011First is the rational intellectual who gives no credence to anything his mind cannot grasp. He dismisses with ridicule anything that can’t be “proven” — preferably in a laboratory. We tend to dismiss him as if all that intellectualizing is somehow a threat to our relationship with Hashem.
And then there is the simple but holy type who seems to function on a purely intuitive beyond-logic level. He eschews all philosophizing or theorizing yet remains steadfast and unshakeable in his faith.
But even as we longingly tell the story of the shepherd who called out the alef-bais at Kol Nidrei or extol the illiterate Yiddishe Mama who knew how to cry on Tisha B’Av not despite but somehow because she didn’t know how to read (let alone translate the kinos) our heart does not really seem to be where our mouth is.
It’s hard to accept that Hashem would give us this wondrously capable mind and then be happier if we don’t use it. Can it really be that depth of thought and understanding are really just “intellectual fluff” reserved for the weak among us? And truth be told few people I know would seriously be willing to give up their ability to think reason and understand (even if that would set their tefillos soaring on Kol Nidrei night) even as they yearn for the emunah pshutah of that Yiddishe Mama and the shepherd with his alef-beis.
THE GREAT DIVIDE
Perhaps this seeming dichotomy this split we envision between mind and heart is a terrible distortion. Rav Dessler tells us in Michtav MeEliyahu that in the original plan mind and heart were meant to work together.
Knowing Hashem was meant to be a work in tandem of the heart and the mind. The intellect would immediately pass on each new level of understanding to the heart to process into love and closeness. The heart would revel in each new intellectual insight and would immediately reflect this closeness on an emotional level.
There would be no such thing as philosophical pontificating that wasn’t expressed in the vibrancy of the heart. And on the other hand simple faith would not be contradicted by intellectual knowledge. In fact it would be the intellectual knowledge that would feed the pure faith.
But into the breach of this imperfect world crept the discrepancy the discord and the dissonance between heart and mind. Rarely do the two get equal time in the sun. We glorify emotion at the expense of intellect — or ridicule heart at the expense of mind.
And yet even in our distorted world we know that this is not the way things should be; we instinctively sense the unified marriage that was originally meant to exist between heart and mind.
A DOORWAY TO THE HEART
In an unexpected dynamic which actually hints to the ideal relationship between emotion and intellect we’re often surprised to see how often knowledge and understanding of the mind leads to an opening of the heart.
Understanding seems in fact to be the most accessible window through which we can reach out to others. Even among bitter adversaries an opportunity to hear the facts of the case from the other’s viewpoint to intellectually grasp the other’s perspective can dissipate much of the venom vindictiveness and anger between them. It appears that the way to man’s heart is not through his stomach but through his mind!
For even if we remain totally opposed to the other person’s view finding the place in the “enemy” that is similar to us that feels joy and pride pain and loneliness as we do closes the gap between us and them — even when we remain convinced that their conclusions are dead wrong. And often such insight requires hearing clarifying and integrating the facts intellectually — in order to open our hearts to our underlying similarities (hence the expense and effort spent on diversity training workshops).
There’s more. Sometimes it is the intimacy that understanding brings that can change a relationship from one of determined yet plodding faithfulness to a soaring faithfulness born of love and joy.
Imagine the difference between these two scenarios:
Husband A says to his wife “Please can you set the Shabbos table using china dishes?”
Husband B says to his wife “I remember how excited I was as a child when I came home and saw the table set with beautiful dishes. It helped me feel the majesty of Shabbos. I would love it if we could duplicate that atmosphere in our home.”
Husband A may get the desired results but husband B will sow the seeds for the closeness and intimacy that comes from understanding.
Rav Simcha Zissel of Kelm in his sefer Chochmah U’Mussar tells us that even in our relationship with Hashem it is the glimpses of insight that He allows us to access despite our extremely limited minds that help us to move from the level of v’yadata hayom to the level of v’hasheivosa el l’vavecha. It is the joy of touching the inner depth of the mitzvos through understanding (despite our obvious inability to grasp even a fraction of what any mitzvah is really about) that has the power to bring us into the relationship with all our hearts.
KNOWLEDGE WITH A HEART
Indeed though it is through our physical bodies that almost all the mitzvos are performed it’s a combination of our mind and hearts that engage us in the relationship.
In fact it’s that aspect of ourselves that sets us apart from other creations. Sforno tells us that it’s our awareness and intellect that defines us as having been created in His image. In the perfect metaphor that the physical world provides for the spiritual it is only man who stands upright — his intellect physically crowning the rest of him.
“Beloved is he who was created in the image [of G-d].” Not great is he who was created in the image of G-d the Maharal comments but beloved. “Similar loves and attaches itself to similar” he explains. It is the part of us that is similar to Hashem that makes us both G-dly and beloved to Him. The Chovos HaLevavos says that wisdom is in fact the greatest gift Hashem has given us.
In the sefer Daas Tvunos of the Ramchal it is specifically to the seichel that the neshamah turns to help her navigate her way through this world. “Since it is you [sechel] that Hashem has allowed to lead me and to straighten my path and it is only through you that I can fathom the Will of Hashem I turn to you with my question …”
In a way not asking questions can show a lack of caring. The Maharal tells us that this is why the answer to the fourth son the “sh’eino yodei’a lishol ” is similar to the answer we give the rasha. People want to know all kinds of things from how their cell phones work to why this person was hired instead of that one — but about Hashem and His world we are silent? How can it be that we have no questions? A burning desire to know and understand is an expression of our love caring and passion.
Rav Chaim Freidlander in his beautiful introduction to his edition of the Daas Tvunos of the Ramchal says the questions that the neshamah asks the seichel about the way Hashem runs the world can seem strange to us. Her questions seem to be ones that should never be asked or at the very least they’re questions that we might think should be answered with a curt “Because that is the way Hashem wanted it.”
Yet it’s the neshamah’s unrelenting desire to understand that shows us that we too “should yearn for and search for understanding.”
Just the fact that that the world was created using set laws of nature which are comprehensible to man when it could have been created with no perceivable order the Ramchal tells us seems to be proof that Hashem wants us to try to understand His world.
WHAT ABOUT SIMPLE FAITH?
And yet still intellect is somehow suspect in our eyes. Especially around Chanukah time when we remember that the Greeks who despite all their intellectual philosophizing still fought an all out war with kedushah — we often see the mind as dangerous.
We all know that the defining moment in the formation of the Jewish People was when Avraham Avinu suspended his intellect — nothing about the Akeidah “made sense.” We all know that the Jewish People’s declaration of “Naaseh v’nishma – we commit ourselves to You without checking the fine print” was the moment that turned us into Hashem’s people. We all know that the chukim the mitzvos whose reasons are not immediately accessible are perhaps the ones that show our commitment on the deepest level.
And it is this unquestioning faith and loyalty that is the cornerstone of the whole relationship.
This is a covenant a bris between us and Hashem. In an eternal unbreakable no-return and no-exchange bond He is ours and we are His. We are His servants and we do His bidding whether it appeals to us or not whether we understand it or not whether we like it or not. Even if we are granted a glimpse into the inner beauty of the mitzvah the bottom line is that we keep the mitzvah because Hashem told us to.
“Whatever command or prohibition of G-d it may be that prompts one to ask why one should do this and not do that there is but one and the same answer: Because it is the will of G-d … This answer … is essentially the only one possible and it would remain so if we were ourselves to penetrate into the reason for every commandment or if G-d Himself had disclosed to us the reason for His commandments …” (Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch in his introduction to Horeb).
But it is specifically that iron-clad bond — that intrinsic covenant — that makes us yearn for the closeness and love of understanding. Like spouses who though committed to each other from day one find great joy in each new revelation about each other and whose closeness grows in direct proportion to their getting to know and understand each other we as the Ramchal describes “strive for [understanding] and run after it with great intensity.”
AFTER THE CHUPPAH
And in an exquisite insight which hints to the interplay between commitment and knowledge the Sfas Emes tells us that it is only the complete and total acceptance of the chok the willingness to suspend our intellect in response to the bond of the covenant that can possibly gift us with insight.
The commitment the unquestioning acceptance of the other is the prerequisite for understanding. Perhaps this is because it is only when our ego no longer stands in the way — when the question is no longer what do I want but what do You want — that we can make room in our narrow worldview to understand an “Other.” It is only when we submit ourselves to the Ribono shel Olam that we have a hope of peeling off even a tiny bit of the darkness that covers the world.
Insight is often experienced as a gift as a moving and progressing towards the wholeness our soul yearns for — where holes lacks and deficits do not exist and the world is filled with the light of Hashem.
The Nefesh HaChaim translates chillul Hashem as a place where there is a chalal — an empty place — where Hashem is not perceived. Every question mark every perceived lack of justice is a potential hole. Every fragment of the puzzle that we unearth every scrap of understanding that the Torah grants us fills up those empty spaces in our minds fills our souls with joy and brings us closer to the day that malaah haaretz dei’ah es Hashem k’mayim layam mechasim.
Of course the puzzle is not complete — nor can it be in this world of limited vision. Often we flail around like blind men groping uncomfortably in the darkness our only anchor our commitment to Torah and mitzvos as we try to tap into the vayidom Aharon — the unquestioning acceptance of all that Hashem does. But amid the darkness of this world it is the flashes of understanding that Hashem grants us that delight and refresh our souls.
May we soon reach the time speedily and in our days when the layers of darkness that cover the world will be peeled away. May we merit the time where wave after wave of revelation and insight will overwhelm us with the beauty and brilliance of this world that Hashem created and orchestrates in order to allow us the indescribable pleasure of coming close to Him. May the world soon be filled with knowledge — a knowledge that combines heart mind and soul.
Miriam Kosman is a lecturer for Nefesh Yehudi an outreach organization that teaches Torah to secular Israeli university students. The roots of the dynamic between mind and heart are expanded on in her forthcoming book on male and female energies in the universe and in ourselves.
Talkback: Discussion on the “Under Wraps” article
A reader writes:
Regarding the article about tzniyus by Miram Kosman it wouldn’t hurt to say the blunt truth — the halachos of tzniyus resulted from the sin of Chavah. We don’t prettify working by the sweat of our brow or glorify pain in pregnancy childbirth and child rearing. There were many other curses that Chavah received that are enumerated in Me’am Lo’ez including the laws of tzniyus. The pretty explanations are nice and can be inspiring and there is an inyan to seeking taamei hamitzvos but there is something to be said for facing the harsh reality: Chavah sinned and we are paying the price.
Additionally you write “When every depth of feeling is exposed to the whole world when we’re told that our desire for privacy stems from unhealthy inhibition then the only way to get in touch with the inner self is vicariously through other people’s lives and feelings.” People have commented that our frum magazines (and some books) do just that. More and more we are presented with articles about people’s most personal thoughts feelings and life stories. I sometimes cringe at what frum people choose to share with the world. But hey it sells magazines and books and we can convince ourselves that it’s all l’toeles (but who are we kidding?).
Y. H.
Miriam Kosman responds:
While galus is indeed a harsh reality I think you are missing the point if you think that the klalos are only about “paying the price.” Punishments are not a tit-for-tat kind of approach where Hashem says I don’t like what you did and now you are going to have to suffer — and don’t try to understand because that might mitigate your misery and since you did something wrong I want you to be miserable!
“For a punishment is not ‘revenge’ but a way to be rectified and purified from the evil (the evildoers) have attached to themselves by doing wrong” (Daas Tvunos 52).
Tzniyus is as you note a response to the sin of Chavah. Before the sin Adam and Chavah did not wear clothing. In a world where good and bad are blurred the dangers of distortion are much greater. Tzniyus as explained in the article is a tool to help us keep our eyes on the ball. And in fact both earning our living by the sweat of our brow and pain in pregnancy childbirth and child rearing also have their part to play in bringing us closer to Hashem perhaps by helping us realize just how dependent on Hashem we really are. Using an understanding of tzniyus to rectify the pain and darkness of galus is not prettifying — it’s the whole point!
As to your second point while the article did indeed recommend steering clear of voyeurism there is another side to the story. There are so many barriers and walls between people — so many misconceptions and judgments that prevent us from feeling close to the other. Hearing about life from the subjective view of the person living through one of life’s challenges can if done responsibly provide us with a window into that person’s worldview. It is hard to feel superior and condescending towards someone you empathize with. We might be surprised one day to discover how some of those stories in their own modest way have done a lot to increase ahavas Yisrael.
It’s hard to accept that Hashem would give us this wondrously capable mind and then be happier if we don’t use it
Every fragment of the puzzle that we unearth every scrap of understanding that the Torah grants us fills up those empty spaces in our minds fills our souls with joy
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