Let’s say it straight: Tipping has gotten out of hand

I

t’s that time of year again. It’s the seventh day since camp started and the email rolls in.

Dear Parents, it says. Visiting day is approaching… and please keep in mind tipping for our hardworking staff, including but not limited to: rebbi, counselor, JC, CIT, waiter, lifeguard, nurse, division head, head counselor, camp mother, janitor, sports director, mother’s helper….

And then camps do this helpful little thing where they inform you about how much the standard tip should be for each.

And my heart sinks. Because of course I want to show hakaras hatov to my children’s counselors. Especially the one who calmed her down when she was homesick, and the one who brought my child to the nurse when he fell after climbing on the rafters.

But… I’d also like to know where my $6,000-plus is going, if not to pay the people on the above list. Didn’t we finish paying camp tuition by June 1 so the camps could allocate some of those funds to their hardworking staff?

Let’s say it straight: Tipping has gotten out of hand. Asking us to tip the entire staff list adds up quickly to hundreds and hundreds of dollars that some of us cannot afford at this point. But if we skimp on the tips, we’re looked at as the cheap ones (and our children might even suffer for it).

Living expenses climb higher and higher each year, and for the most part, salaries don’t seem to rise along with them. Sending our children to camp is a luxury that we save for all year; we do it because we want to gift our children with an amazing experience that will pull them through the next ten months. When hundreds of dollars of tips are added on top of camp tuition — which hardly offers breaks — for multiple children, it becomes even more difficult.

And this isn’t limited to sleepaway camp, either. My daughter was a counselor in the city for the past couple of years, making an embarrassingly small amount of money. She did it because it was something to do in the summer, it would be fun, and she would do it with friends, etc., etc. And don’t worry, she was told, you get paid mostly in tips.

As a mother, I hoped others would tip her generously on the last day of camp. She worked hard, my daughter, many long hours, taking care of younger campers in the hot sun, shepherding them from activity to activity, making sure they were having a good time. In return, she deserved thanks and — yes, money — which she’d be using to contribute to her sleepaway camp experience.

As a parent, though, I was really torn. I knew what the camp tuition cost — I had two campers there, too. Could I afford an additional tip for their counselors? Absolutely not. (No, five dollars doesn’t cut it according to the camp handbook, and yes, sometimes even a chocolate bar for each staff member is too expensive. Also, at this age, a beautifully written thank-you letter — always warranted, always appreciated — doesn’t go as far as it might to a teacher.)

What am I asking?

Consider this: Maybe you can compensate your staff instead of putting the burden on the parents who are already paying for camp? This business model feels deeply exploitative —of both parents and staff members.

These counselors are young. But they’re also managing an entire bunk of children every day. It’s physically and emotionally taxing, and they work hard for every dollar they earn. Every dollar I already paid the camp office.

I recall being a staff member, 20 years ago, and making a few hundred dollars. The numbers haven’t gone up much, which means that, if we look at inflation, counselors are actually making less now. (And many of them, in sleepaway camps, aren’t making anything at all.) They’re counting on those tips.

Which brings me back to the beginning. What exactly are we paying for? How can the price of camp go higher and higher, while the staff salaries are stagnant — still dependent on tips?

Here’s my suggestion: Rather than the burden of tips falling onto the parents, these numbers should be bundled into the pay for the staff. From the camp tuition I was already charged. And some parents will still tip their children’s counselors — because they want to thank those counselors for going above and beyond (or to bribe them into looking out for their child). That’s what tips are about. Not the parents paying the staff directly.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 952)