“It’s okay.” I rest my head in my palms. “I just… want to sleep. And also I can’t sleep”

12:04 p.m.

“You’ll send out a special unit? As soon as possible. Thank you… yes. We appreciate all your help.”

Uncle Yossi ends the call and looks at all of us. “The British ambassador himself. He’s taking this situation very seriously and is assuring me he’ll send a unit to the shul and see if they can find — and rescue — your family.” He nods at Yaakov and me.

My breath catches in my throat.

It just feels like… too much. First the terror, the unknown, then the straining our minds for clues, and then the sudden rush of adrenaline that came with the realization….

And now, my heart is still racing, I want to race somewhere, do something, but there’s nothing to do but wait.

I feel hot and cold and all over the place.

“Ashira, sweetie, are you okay?” Aunt Chana asks, putting a hand on my arm. Her phone buzzes just then and she holds up a finger. “One sec. Hello?” She listens a moment. “No, you can’t come over to Bubby’s, I’m sorry. It’s not a good time to have everyone running around here… I’ll speak to you soon. Yes, you can take Shabbos nosh. Yes, you can invite friends over. No, you can’t bake on your own… unless Raizy wants to supervise. She doesn’t? I can’t say I’m surprised, girls. Listen, I’ll call you back soon, okay?”

She turns back to me. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” I rest my head in my palms. “I just… want to sleep. And also I can’t sleep.”

“Maybe go lie down on the sofa?” Aunt Chana suggests. “You’ll be right nearby if there’s any update.”

I shrug. “I guess I will.”