4 women share stories of times they overcame hurt

More than I Bargained for

As told to Miriam Bloch

When my husband and I first moved to a new town as newlyweds, I was eager to figure out my next steps. Having married young, I hadn’t gotten the chance to complete my degree, so I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my time. The town was home to more than one frum college program, each one offering attractive courses in the field I wanted to train in.

One college stood out for its stellar reputation and close proximity to my home — and best of all, I managed to win a scholarship, which was incredible news given our limited financial resources. There was only one catch — there were several modules missing from the program that were vital for the field I was training in. After some haggling, they made me a generous offer: I’d do the course with them, but I’d take the additional modules elsewhere and they’d cover the cost in its entirety.

There was no formal contract — just a chain of emails between us. The guy at the helm of the finances was friendly; he seemed eager to make it work for me. He told me I’d pay out of pocket, and they’d reimburse me in installments over time. Trusting them completely, I went ahead. I completed all the courses there and in the other college, and started to receive reimbursement checks.

A few months passed, but then suddenly, no more checks were forthcoming. I was still owed a few thousand dollars, and I needed the money. A check-in with the guy I’d liaised with revealed that this particular branch of the program was suddenly struggling with a complicated repositioning of leadership that affected the funds, and I’d have to wait a bit longer for the repayments. They were in middle of ironing things out.

Unbeknownst to me, their financial situation was really serious. So serious, in fact, that the college couldn’t survive, even with new leadership in place, and was forced to close its doors at the end of that semester. I hadn’t yet gotten back half of what I’d laid out. A flurry of emails solicited a sincere apology alongside a detailed explanation, which made sense, but got me nervous as there was no concrete solution.

After several more months and no update from them, my frustration boiled over into a series of indignant emails, each one angrier than the last. Always one with the strong sense of justice, I felt the unfairness of it keenly. Yet the response from them was always the same: We are doing our best to settle it. We’ll let you know when there are updates.

But soon, the emails I sent were met with silence. They stopped responding altogether. Now not only was I being denied what I thought was rightfully mine; they wouldn’t even engage in any further conversation with me. I was mad.