“Then went Haman forth that day joyful and glad of heart. But when Haman saw Mordechai sitting in the king’s gate that he stood not up nor moved for him Haman was filled with wrath against Mordechai. Haman... went home and he sent and fetched his friends and Zeresh his wife. And Haman recounted unto them the glory of his riches and the multitude of his children and everything as to how the king had promoted him and how he had advanced him above the princes and servants of the king.” (Esther 5:9–11)

Why does a husband tell his wife about all of their children? Even his friends and neighbors knew this — and of his prosperity and prestige. What was the purpose then of Haman telling them? (Rav Chaim Zaitchik Kol Mevaser on the Five Megillos)

Sometimes I think that I have to get out of Purim to really get into Purim. Away from the cellophane and ribbons from the fisherman’s cap and the princess’s gloves from the grated chocolate to be sprinkled on each dessert cup. Away from the thousand details that I spent days running around breathlessly to organize.

I need to get away from it all and tell myself “That’s it.” It’s possible that a mishloach manos will be sent to the wrong person that the princess will wear weekday shoes and the fisherman will be missing that crucial feather. But so what? It will be Purim for me. It will be a real live Purim that type of Purim you breathe in with great deep breaths.

It will be a Purim of living the Megillah reading immersing myself in the overflowing joy. It will be a Purim that will leave me not just with dishes in the sink but with joy in my heart.

Haman went wild with pride and called together his friends and his wife Zeresh to detail his honor wealth and success. While his wife and confidants listened he excitedly recounted his achievements over and over. This teaches us that everyone ... must verbalize each day over and over the kindness that Hashem has done for us.

By recounting all of these things we will bring joy into our hearts. (ibid.)

That is the happiness that we learn from Haman and Megillas Esther.

I should copy down the recipe for joy and paste it on the door of my heart.

Good morning and Purim Samei’ach. Thank You Hashem for making me a healthy strong and creative woman. Thank You for my intelligence for giving me a husband and children for closeness with You for success at work and in managing the thousand other tasks that appear throughout the day...

Thank You for the peaceful cup of coffee my husband and I enjoyed together last night. Thank You that my kids take care of charging my cell phone.

Now I move on to the children. I speak out loud mentioning each child his uniqueness and middos and talents. How wonderful that Hashem has given me this how adorable and healthy and intelligent he is how she has friends how he has sweet freckles or she has cute curls and how much light they bring into our life.

Then I turn my attention to my house. Hashem has given us such a beautiful home with food in the pantry and in the refrigerator. I talk about the fact that we have a nice couch a mirror potted plants and so much else that that we could have lived without but Hashem Who is so good to us gave us anyway. I go on to speak about the flowers the trees the warm sun the rain the grass ... That He has made us Jewish the children of the Chosen People. That we can learn Torah and fulfill priceless mitzvos.

My heart becomes filled with joy.

From when he got up in the morning the Chofetz Chaim thanked Hashem for everything he had — for his body and his soul for the seforim that Hashem had given him for his wife and children for his sons-in-law and daughters-in-law for his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He would then enumerate all of his accomplishments.

This is what Purim — and happiness — is all about. That is how we get up every morning and fill our homes with song and our souls with inner joy. That is how we become filled with love for everyone for ourselves and — most importantly — for Hashem.