Oh, my goodness! They have to put grown men at each entrance to keep my 11-year-old out!

I

know some mothers will be horrified to know that when I see the school’s phone number on my caller ID, and I hear my child has been injured, I’m relieved. But I also know there are other mothers — mothers of children with behavioral issues — that will entirely understand me.

If he’s fallen on the playground and needs stitches or an X-ray — well, I can handle that. There’s a clear protocol to heal him, and a brief timeline for how long that will take. Certainly no one will be talking about my son or my family if he breaks a bone in the schoolyard. I’m not worried about my child’s future if he has to use crutches for a couple of weeks.

But when the principal calls and opens by telling me Shalom is fine, I don’t relax. My blood turns cold and my heart starts racing.

Let me tell you what the school did not call to tell me. When Shalom found a key to the storage room and convinced his entire class to go inside and then locked them in — the school considered that a minor enough infraction to leave me out of.

When he used a magnifying glass to set things in the schoolyard on fire, the principal confiscated the magnifying glass and informed Shalom he would be all too happy to give it back as soon as Shalom could commit to using it for only non-nefarious purposes. He saw no need to involve me.

I only know how often he’s sent to the principal’s office because his older brother two grades above — a goody-goody — complains to me how mortifying it is when Shalom is again waiting for the principal.

I know the school is patient, so when I see Rav Goldberg’s number on my caller I.D., I’m near panic when he tells me Shalom is fine.