“I know your ‘letters’ about fundraising was meant to be funny Purim shtick, but let me tell you, it boiled my blood”

A Topic Not Talked About [Encounters / Issue 935]

As the child of baalei teshuvah, I laughed out loud at and felt so validated by Bracha Gan’s hilarious “top ten moments in the life of children of baalei teshuvah.” It’s not something that’s talked about, but there are many challenges being a second-generation baal teshuvah, and it can be quite lonely sometimes. What was especially nice about this piece was that instead of going the kvetching route, it took a look at it from a humorous perspective, which for me, was really therapeutic.

And really, poking fun at things that are frustrating or even difficult is such a Jewish characteristic. Somewhere along the way, our ancestors may have strayed from the path, but they still passed down their Jewishness to their progeny!

Name Withheld

Not an Option [Quick Q / Issue 935]

I was really disturbed by the Quick Q on the back page asking women if they still dress up as adults. There are four mitzvos on Purim, and none of them involve costumes. Furthermore, I believe that any costume calls attention to itself, and I don’t think that’s tzniyusdig. I understand that people do dress up, but I don’t think Family First should be presenting it as a fine option for those who want it. Should a woman who’s strivnig for greatness really engage in this silly practice?

S.C.

Lakewood

Don’t Destroy Your Good Work [Fiction / Issue 935]

I know your “letters” about fundraising was meant to be funny Purim shtick, but let me tell you, it boiled my blood. These letters had a humorous undertone, but they were anything but funny. Why? Why? Why? Why are we conditioning our children to these levels of insanity? Why are we, as a society, looking to constantly outdo one another as we compete for tzedakah dollars? What happened to giving and collecting being an expression of the gomlei chasadim our people are?

When my son asked me if he could collect on Purim, I told him yes, for a specific family I know, with the sole goal of helping people in need, not to “earn” an electric scooter.

To the tzedakah organizations responsible for this madness: You do good work, please don’t destroy it.

B. Davids

No Place in Our World [My Son, the Singer / Issue 935]

I was so impressed by the healthy attitude the mothers of the singers interviewed displayed toward their children’s unusual musical talent. They all made sure that even though their children were exceptionally talented, they were kept out of the limelight while they were growing up, were taught that their talent is a gift from Hashem and that it shouldn’t be taken out of proportion, and that their success in their studies was more important than their childhood singing “careers.” There was no “my son, the doctor” attitude.

One of the mothers commented that back when her adult son was a child, singers weren’t treated as celebrities the way they are now. This woman raised a really important point: Celebrity culture has seeped into our frum culture, and yes, even though the people we “celebrate” are of a much higher caliber than those in the secular world, the concept of worshipping people for their talent or success is very disturbing and has no place in our world.

Raizy Jotkowitz

Six Jewish Babies [Unmasked Faith / Issue 934]

Thank you to Family First and to Ariella Kamen on sharing her incredible journey of having a child via uterine transplant. Her story and bitachon is a true inspiration. Here in Dallas, Texas, we’re zocheh to have the only approved non-trial uterine transplant team in America through Baylor Scott & White Medical Center.

This past Sunday, Bikur Cholim of Dallas, at their third annual Gala Dinner, honored the Baylor Medical Uterine Transplant Team for their incredible work. Baruch Hashem, we’re privileged to boast six Jewish babies born through the Baylor uterine transplant team! We partner with both Bonei Olam and ATIME as well to support these families through their fertility journey.

Dallas has the frum infrastructure to support women traveling here for a potential transplant. From heimish shuls, kosher restaurants, and a community always looking for chesed opportunities, nothing is lacking for patients coming to Dallas for medical treatment. Fertility treatment is extremely private, and Bikur Cholim of Dallas is here to take care of all their needs. For more information, please inquire online at bikurcholimofdallas.org.

May Hashem send yeshuos to all women struggling with fertility.

Bikur Cholim of Dallas

Quite Defensive [Inbox / Issue 934]

As I was reading the Know This about a woman who only serves her children extremely healthy food, I was impressed by the interviewee’s dedication to her children’s health and how she was able to instill the importance of healthy eating upon her children. I thought this was admirable, as it is hard to enforce a strictly healthy diet. I was thus confused by the Inbox letters that followed which criticized the mother, specifically, one which was quite harsh. It said that the mother’s approach is misguided and that she’s concerned for the children’s social status. The interviewee said that her children are happy to follow this menu. I think that if her children were suffering from eating healthy, they wouldn’t be as happy to do it.

The letter writer also said, “It’s important to take a step back and understand that we are not in control… If someone is meant to get sick, or suffer from an illness, they will.” This is definitely true. Hashem runs the world. But that being said, it’s our hishtadlus to eat responsibly, and statistics show that people who keep healthier diets have a lower risk of chronic diseases, including cardiovascular disease, certain types of cancer, and type 2 diabetes, and also live longer.

The letter seemed very defensive, and I wonder if it’s because the letter writer feels guilty about what she allows her children to consume. The interview specifically stated, “I don’t judge anyone for their choices, and I wish they wouldn’t judge ours.” She isn’t judging anyone’s decisions regarding food, and her decisions shouldn’t be attacked.

Zahava Mandel

A Roller Coaster Ride [Real Life / Issue 932]

I was so disappointed and sad to read the story of the abused wife whose marriage didn’t survive shanah rishonah. While every story is different, I totally relate to her. I’m about to reach my 20th anniversary. It hasn’t been easy. Actually, it’s been quite challenging. I hope to write my story, or a book even, but the story isn’t over yet. I don’t ride on roller coasters, but I imagine this feels much like what a person with a spouse with emotional illness feels like. Just like the writer of the piece; I spent many years not knowing who I was….

Name Withheld

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 936)