Forget overstepping boundaries when suggesting to your sister that your niece take Accutane for her acne — you’re causing your niece so much damage! I came home from seminary 18 years ago with very bad acne and took Accutane on the advice of my doctor. I was entering the shidduch parshah and needed a quick solution.
It was horrible. My skin dried out so much my skin and lips would crack and bleed, I was so sensitive to light I often had to shut the lights and close the blinds and sit in the dark, and I became depressed. At the time, my doctor brushed off the depression-Accutane link, even though I just knew that was the cause. When I went off it, these problems disappeared right away. I felt vindicated when I came across recent research that has shown evidence that Accutane is linked to depression.
Taking Accutane doesn’t look at the root causes of acne, like the impact of diet and gut inflammation. When my acne came back a few years later, I was married, so Accutane wasn’t an option as it can cause severe birth defects, so I went the natural route. I changed my diet, used quality skincare products, took a multi-vitamin; it was slower going, but my skin cleared up and my overall wellness improved as well.
I really regret taking Accutane and wouldn’t allow my children to take it. So please, don’t tell your sister or your niece, directly or indirectly, to go that route.
Name Withheld
Geriatric Social Workers [When Roles Reverse / Issue 912]
Thank you so much for the very well-written article, “When Roles Reverse” by Lori Holzman Schwartz. The issue of aging parents is one that families often face while juggling many other responsibilities. As a geriatric social worker for my entire 40-plus years career, and as a geriatric care manager for many years as well, I was surprised not to see my profession mentioned in the article.
Geriatric social workers work together with doctors, nurses, facilities, families, the elderly, religious leaders, and a myriad of other people and professions. We often are advocates for the elderly and their families, as well as the facilitator to ensure everyone works cooperatively.
We’re trained to help the elderly and their family work out the best plan possible under each unique circumstance. And, yes, there are very often disagreements among siblings, financial issues, mixed emotions, and many other challenges. This is to be expected.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “My father won’t stop driving, but it’s not safe, he’s going to have an accident and hurt himself or someone else,” or, “I promised my mother I wouldn’t put her in a nursing home, but I can’t keep her at home.”
There are sensitive, effective, and respectful ways to deal with these, and all the other “battles” mentioned in the article. Of course, daas Torah is a must and working together with shul rabbis and organizations like Chayim Aruchim benefits everyone. It’s extraordinarily helpful when there is a family rav involved for the inevitable sh’eilos that arise. A geriatric social worker is specifically trained and skilled and can really help to make many of the scenarios mentioned in the article so much less stressful for everyone involved.
Ireta Metchik, MSW
Even More So with a Coach [A Better You / Issue 912]
Sara Rivkah Kohn so aptly described how important it is for a therapist to be hashkafically aligned with the client. I’d like to add an important point to the constant discussion about whether to go to a mentor, life coach, or licensed therapist. If seeing a licensed therapist that isn’t aligned with your hashkafic views isn’t ideal, how much more so when the protection of a license is not there. If for some reason you’re inclined to use a life coach or mentor, it’s doubly or triply as important that his or her hashkafah is aligned with our true Torah values. I wish I could shout this from the rooftops!
Name Withheld
Testing... [A Better You / Issue 912]
I love Dr. Jennie Berkovich’s articles. They’re very on target and she has a lot of wisdom. I feel like I need to bring more awareness about Lyme disease. I’m not a doctor, but as a mother of a son diagnosed with a tick-borne illness that isn’t Lyme disease, what I do know is that Lyme disease is a very common tick-borne disease, but it isn’t the only one.
It took years of suffering and seeing doctor after doctor after doctor, not knowing what’s going on with this child, until we found a doctor that took a very sensitive and wide-ranging Lyme test called IGeneX. (We laymen call it a Lyme test, but in reality it’s not a Lyme test, it’s a tick-borne disease test.) He was positive for a rare tick-borne disease. Now we are treating it and his symptoms are finally improving.
This doctor mentioned to us that because there are so many tick-borne diseases and Lyme is the most common one, Lyme is often used as a broad name for all tick-borne diseases. When somebody wants to know why my son takes so much medication, I say, “He has Lyme disease.” It’s the easiest way of explaining a disease that most people have never heard of.
So parents, be aware that if your child has symptoms after a tick bite, it may not be Lyme disease, but it may be something else the tick was carrying.
Dr. Berkovich responds:
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so happy to hear your son is improving! You’re absolutely correct that Lyme is one of many tick-borne illnesses. I do want to caution about the test that you mentioned. The IGeneX test for Lyme disease and other tick-borne illnesses is a subject of ongoing debate in the medical community. While proponents argue that it offers more comprehensive and sensitive testing than standard methods, critics raise significant concerns. There is still so much we don’t know, and we must remain open-minded and continue learning.
The test has been criticized for lacking sufficient validation, potentially leading to false positives, and using interpretive criteria that differ from standard guidelines. IGeneX has faced regulatory issues, including citations from the FDA and rejection by New York State regulators. The test’s association with controversial “Lyme literate” doctors and alternative medical practices has further fueled skepticism. Critics worry that the more liberal interpretation criteria may result in overdiagnosis and unnecessary treatments.
Despite IGeneX’s claims of advanced technology and a more thorough approach to tick-borne disease detection, the test remains largely unaccepted by mainstream medicine. This controversy reflects the broader disagreements within the medical community regarding the diagnosis and treatment of Lyme disease, particularly in complex or chronic cases.
Wishing your son a continued and speedy recovery.
You’re Not Alone [Musings / Issue 909]
“Of Hoping, Hurting, Healing” — the title of Menucha Meyer’s essay on recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) — completely encapsulates what this experience can look like. Although healing can be a long journey for many women, especially when they don’t have optimal emotional care, a healing journey requires a warm, empathetic, and caring friend or support system.
You see, no matter how many children a woman has, recurrent pregnancy loss shakes her foundation and changes what she believes about her body and her reproductive story.
Now imagine how much worse it can be for a woman who doesn’t yet have children. It’s a pain not easily described.
At ATIME, and specifically in our HUG program, we speak to dozens of these women every day. We know the pain, the grief, the feeling of being the only one experiencing RPL, and as if no one will ever understand what you’re going through.
To those women we say: We see and hear you. You’re not alone, there are people who understand and can offer you support and guidance. We urge any woman experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss to reach out and feel the warmth and comfort of a HUG.
Wishing all of Klal Yisrael a year in which no one suffers the loss of a pregnancy she hopes and dreams about.
