Excuses
| June 1, 2021What kind of mother would I be if I implicated my son by blaming him for his lateness? I may threaten to, but let’s face it, I won’t
School is serious business these days, even for the very young. Not only is my six-year-old son required to bring a note when he’s late, it actually has to contain a plausible reason for the tardiness.
And that’s where it gets tricky.
For one thing, what kind of mother would I be if I implicated my son by blaming him for his lateness? I may threaten to, but let’s face it, I won’t.
There could be a host of reasons why my son may have missed his bus. He isn’t a robot after all; he’s a creative and free-spirited child with a mind of his own. And yes, having the wrong kind of cereal in the house, undone homework, oversleeping, and watching the garbage men from the window for far too long are all possible factors as well.
Today, for example, many elements converged to create the disaster wonderful adventure that was our morning.
*Mommy was up most of the night with the four-month-old baby and overslept so deeply that even the sound of (name deleted to protect the innocent) knocking all the books off the bookcase couldn’t wake her.
* Abba davened neitz and went back to bed.
* Lots and lots of soggy cheerios all over the table and floor
* No underwear! Yes, this is embarrassing, but toilet training a two-year-old takes up a lot of resources. (Note to self: Buy more underwear.)
* No pants! Oops, forgot to switch that load to the dryer.
And then before I knew it, my son was wailing, “Mommy, I need a note!”
I’ve tried the generic, quasi-apologetic route before.
To Rebbi Fried,
Sorry for the lateness. We will try to be more on time.
D. Cohen.
This note was promptly returned, with a message saying that late notes needed an explanation on them, detailing the cause for the lateness.
I get it. Being on time is important. Learning the value of timeliness is, well, timeless. But my honest-Abe personality notwithstanding, I didn’t think Rebbi Fried really wanted to know what went on this morning. Plus, I have a reputation to maintain.
So, I’ve taken to writing notes like this:
To Rebbi Fried,
I’m sorry Yitzchak is late this morning. We all had a late morning.
D. Cohen
But something in my creative spirit rebels against this brief and boring memo. I wish my excuses were more exciting or even more frum.
Something like this?
To Rebbi Fried,
This morning Yitzchak helped perform the rare mitzvah of Pidyon Peter Chamor at his grandfather’s farm at dawn. (Due to coronavirus, attendance for the event was limited, and he was lucky to be one of the few honored participants.) We hope you understand his tardiness, but this was a valuable chinuch opportunity we just could not pass up.
D. Cohen
Or this?
To Rebbi Fried,
On our way to school this morning, Yitzchak noticed a wounded and distressed cat stuck in a tree. He attempted to rescue the poor animal and bring it to safety. The fire department was subsequently called to extricate both Yitzchak and the cat from the tree. Baruch Hashem, with the help of the able-bodied firemen, they were both swiftly rescued. We’re so proud of our mitzvah boy.
D. Cohen
Late notes like these would certainly brand me as a mother who views real-life situations as a conduit for personal growth in my children. While school is undeniably important, there can be valid and important reasons for lateness that may even gain the admiration, if not respect, of the school faculty. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d call little old me for ideas on how to take the dry class curriculum and bring it to life outside the classroom.
But for now, we’re still late, our notes are generic, and my son was dismayed this week when he arrived too late for Shabbos party. But maybe that’s a good thing. Nothing like natural consequences to prod us out of bed in the morning bright and early.
(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 745)
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