“When the affliction of tzaraas is on a man then he shall be brought to the Kohein.” (Vayikra 13:9)
“A person can see all afflictions besides his own afflictions.” (Negaim 2:5)

This law was said regarding afflictions that come upon a person — even if he’s a Kohein and able to [determine the status of] the affliction. Nevertheless a person cannot [determine the status of] his own afflictions; therefore “he shall be brought to the Kohein.”
“Even if you are a Kohein” the Torah says “go to a different Kohein.”
Commentators explain: “A person sees all faults except his own.” It’s human nature to see and recognize one’s fellow’s faults yet not see any faults in himself. The pasuk says: “Let your eyes look forward and let your eyelids look straight ahead of you” (Mishlei 4:25). A person is accustomed to looking at his friend’s deficiencies. When a speck of fine dust settles on his friend he sees it immediately; in himself he doesn’t see any deficiency.
Therefore the pasuk says “Let your eyes look forward.” While it is good that a person sees his friend’s faults so that he can reprove him and show him the truth — though not Heaven forbid shaming and degrading him — “Let your eyelids look straight ahead of you.” Immediately look at yourself as well and you will see that you are afflicted with the same middah. (Rav Yaakov Neiman Darchei Mussar)
My two-year-old has started throwing things at the table. This includes whatever he didn’t order on his personal menu or whatever didn’t satisfy his royal highness. The broken cookie was first. The half-full cup of juice was next and the bread with butter not ketchup was last. “You’re overtired ” we informed him and ourselves. We cleaned up and gave him a bath.
The next morning brought a surplus of energy. Two Matchbox cars. A knife that thank goodness missed everyone. The bowl of cornflakes that didn’t have milk “up to the tippy top.” It splattered the whole kitchen and his stunned siblings.
What do we do? Scold? Establish boundaries from a young age? Ignore it? He expects us to be firm with him… maybe he’s craving boundaries. I know this is completely normal but I still don’t know what to do.
Had a friend told me of such problems yesterday I would have had a thousand ideas for her yet when the problem knocks on my door I must seek out a different Kohein a truly objective figure who will tell me right or left if I should scold or remain silent.
Rav Yisrael Salanter said: “A certain chazzan a real yerei Shamayim got a job as shaliach tzibbur for the Yamim Noraim. The chazzan stood before the aron and davened while in his heart he had proud thoughts: Surely all are praising me for the pleasantness of my davening. While he was thinking these proud thoughts the yetzer tov screamed in his heart How can you be proud and on the Day of Judgment yet?
“He continues his davening and again proud thoughts enter his heart…
“The advice [to him] ” says Rav Yisrael Salanter “is that [he should think] if he were to remove his tallis he would see that the congregation isn’t enjoying his tefillah. Just the opposite [they are] mocking him and the pride will completely pass in a moment.” So too with all the middos. A person’s imagination roams free — the yetzer hara is sitting at the portals of his heart. There is no solution other than to remove his tallis and see “Let your eyelids look straight before you.” However not always can a person remove the tallis on his own. (ibid.)
Sometimes I must find the person who can take me out of my personal bubble and help reflect the truth from the outside. Someone who has wisdom and yiras Shamayim who can see what I can’t someone who can view the situation objectively who knows me and has the time to be a “Kohein” for me.
When I allow others to remove the tallis blocking my vision I can suddenly discover ways in to heal my tzaraas. All that’s needed is a little objectivity.