The problem was that right after completing the “Keep Tehilla Well-Dressed” campaign, I decided I wasn’t quite done.

I noticed something.

Where had all the basic down parkas gone?

For years, I wore a Lands’ End down parka. I know, cringe. But I grew up in the 90s and back then, that’s what people did. Nothing beat the excitement when the Lands’ End catalog arrived. I remembered flipping those pages, examining each picture and description, and gasping at the price. “Over $200?!” It seemed like a lot of money. But it was an investment, because that coat was worn for years. Anyone remember the lifetime guarantee?

Ha! Lifetime guarantee? Thanks, but no thanks! I’m ready for new. The down coat that I had been thrilled to purchase only a couple of years ago was now… out. The belt was cute and flattering, but who wore parka-length coats these days? The cut was nice, but why, oh why, did I buy a coat in a shade other than black? And yes, the down was warm and toasty, but who cared, when other warm and stylish options beckoned?

I automatically turned back to my favorite and familiar shopping sites to rectify the matter. I was one click away from a coat that would keep me feeling warm inside and out when I paused.

“Should I?”  Maybe not. I’d just spent a lot of time and money on a lot of new clothing. Did I want to add a technically unnecessary coat to the pile of expenditures? Forget about the money. What about my values? How had I so easily morphed from triple-thinking each purchase to a serial-clicking shopper? Visions of the sale racks of my early married life trickled through my memory. Images of Carter’s onesies and Children’s Place followed. Each purchase had been calculated and necessary.

As much as I was enjoying the fruits of my new attitude toward shopping, I hesitated. There was still a part of me that recoiled at spending on the unnecessary, a part of me that wanted to hold on to the ability to be happy without it.

Now I’m here. That stylish, trendy coat has remained in my cart, yet to reach my closet. But when I walk down the street, feeling like a yellow duckling waddling along in a sea of delicate white swans, I wonder….

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 937)