I ’ve always had a lot of hobbies and interests but when I was a teenager (a few years ago) instead of being known as “the girl who plays guitar” or “the girl who writes nice poems” or even “the girl who’s so kind to her younger sisters” or whatever I became known as “the girl who wore a back brace.” I suppose it could have bothered me but my back brace was so much part of my story that it didn’t… at least not so much.

This is my story: I was diagnosed with thoracic kyphosis when I was 13 and I had to wear a back brace every day for two years.

I’d heard of scoliosis but not of kyphosis. Scoliosis is basically when the spine is growing in more of an S shape instead of a straight line like it’s supposed to. Kyphosis is also a curvature but it’s a rounding in the upper spine which makes the shoulders look almost hunchbacked. Some degree of a kyphotic curve is normal but mine was too severe. Kyphosis is apparently hard to detect much harder than scoliosis. Back in my day (“back” — that wasn’t even an intentional pun!) we had scoliosis screenings with professionals in school and even they didn’t catch it.

Actually it was my Bubby who caught it. Apparently it’s quite common for close family to spot it. My friend Goldie who was diagnosed with scoliosis as a teen told me that her cousin was the one who noticed it for her. They were walking into shul together one Shabbos single file and her cousin said to her “Why are you walking funny?” She wasn’t; that’s how she walked! But that was what got the ball rolling for her.

My Bubby always told me my back didn’t look straight. “Stand up straight ” she’d say and I’d say “I am!”

She even urged my mother to take me to a physiotherapist and she did. The physiotherapist said I was fine but my Bubby did not like that at all; she really felt there was something wrong.

My mother sighed and said “Ma if you want call him yourself.”

So she did! My Bubby (who is awesome by the way in case you couldn’t tell by now!) took the phone and spoke to the physiotherapist and even when he reiterated that he thought I was fine Bubby said firmly “I’m sorry but I really think there’s something wrong with my granddaughter’s back. Where can we go for a second opinion?”

Actually it turned out that the physiotherapist was kind of thrown off by my grandmother’s certainty (I mean everyone says “mother knows best ” right? So it’s triple best when it comes to grandmothers!) so he referred me to an orthopedic surgeon. There I had an X-ray and the orthopedic surgeon diagnosed me with thoracic kyphosis and told me I’d need to start wearing a back brace immediately.

That was a story in itself and it was not a fun story. I went to the orthopedic clinic where they make braces and prosthetics (fake body parts). I remember looking around and seeing what fake body parts other people needed and feeling relieved that I would only have to wear my back brace for a few years and then I’d be cured. There was a little boy in the waiting room who had a fake hand. It was battery controlled; he pushed a button to move his fake thumb. It was really amazing, and at the same time it made me realize how lucky I am to have two real, working, G-d-given thumbs.

This is how they made the brace. First, I was wrapped in plaster like a mummy. They had to make a cast of my whole spinal area in my exact body shape. They took that shape and made me a brace with foam on the inside. On the outside, it had polypropylene, the same material cutting boards are made out of! There were holes for air and straps in the back which had to be yanked tight every morning. If it sounds uncomfortable, you are absolutely right. It was the pits. It was excruciatingly hot, especially in the summer, and none of my clothes fit anymore!

The doctors warned me that I might get teased at school about my brace; apparently that happens all the time. But baruch Hashem I had a really lovely class with wonderful classmates; they were curious, of course, and asked questions, but nobody was mean or teased me. I’m lucky! I think it would have been much harder to keep on wearing my brace if kids were giving me a hard time about it. Some things were even humorous; a couple of girls in my class were super curious about how strong the brace was. So I lay down on the classroom floor, face down, and my friend Leah stood on my back… and I couldn’t feel a thing! (I’m lucky it didn’t crack under her weight; boy, would I have gotten in trouble!)

Another girl in my class had the bad habit at that time of “jokingly” punching people when they annoyed her. That, in turn, annoyed everyone else, but nobody could get her to stop. One day, I said something that bothered her and she punched me in the stomach, forgetting that I had a back brace wrapped around my entire torso. Poor thing, she was hopping up and down and clutching her knuckles in agony! She’d really hurt them on my brace. I felt very bad for her, but everyone else said it served her right. And after that, she stopped punching people!

Anyhow, the two years passed and eventually the back brace came off. My friends threw me a “brace off” party! (I told you they were nice.)

I thought all was well. Ten years later, I had back pain so I went to see an adult orthopedic surgeon who said that it was unusual… but my brace hadn’t fixed my curvature. In fact, the curvature had gotten worse. Now, the only way to fix it was with surgery.

It was extremely scary. The spine is connected to everything in the body and anything to do with it is extremely serious, daunting, and can carry serious risks. I went back and forth; should I do it or not? I did a lot of research, spoke to people who’d had the surgery, and then finally decided to go ahead with it. In total, it involved two operations, removing a rib, forming new “discs” from the removed rib, and inserting rods to hold everything in place.

It was so difficult and painful. I was in terrible, terrible pain when I woke up and I was in the hospital for two weeks. The entire time, I didn’t smile once (and people tell me I’m usually very smiley). When it was finally time to go home from the hospital, even though I could barely move and I was in tremendous pain, I remember looking out the car window at the blue sky and green trees, and feeling so relieved and grateful to be out of the hospital; it had felt so much like a painful prison. I was in so much pain, and confined to my bed in agony, unable to do anything by myself or for myself. I needed help with everything.

My parents were wonderful, they helped me as much as possible and urged me to walk so I could grow stronger. Every day, I’d go outside and take small walks — every day, walking just a bit further, and then a bit further than that.

The funny thing is that there were some unexpected benefits. Here are some: Since most of the time I was recovering flat on my back in my bed, whenever I had visitors, I could do nothing but talk to them and listen to them. I got to know people in ways that I hadn’t before, without any distractions or multitasking.

Another thing: my back is straight now! And I actually grew a few inches… so much so that I had to raise the shower head in my bathroom!

Baruch Hashem, I’m out of the woods and I’m not in pain anymore like I was before. And I have a brand-new, serious heartfelt appreciation for my body. I remind everyone I know that our brains, spines, and backs — all the way down to each disk in it and the amount of curve — is straight from Hashem, a pure miracle and an amazing gift.

(Originally featured in Teen, Issue 39)