There was a time when very few members of our community had friends or relatives who were divorced. Now all of us are surrounded and touched by this unfortunate reality. We are in some ways better as a result. When divorce was synonymous with ostracism and poverty many opted to tolerate abuse. Today divorce is an alternative to marital anguish.

Many married people are working harder on themselves and their relationships as a result of seeing close-up what their future might be if they don’t make their marriages priority. For example watching a sibling endure the challenges brought on by the dissolution of his or her marriage often brings home the reality that divorce is hard. It is a necessary relief from intolerable marital conditions but not a desirable solution for regular marriage problems.


Divorce Fantasies

Regular (non-abusive) marriages have their problems. Two imperfect people invariably anger hurt and disappoint each other — sometimes intensely. They routinely fail to fulfill each other’s needs. As a result many people harbor divorce fantasies. I’d be so much happier with someone else.

These thoughts are very different from those of truly mistreated people — people whose physical and mental wellbeing is seriously threatened due to their spouse’s behavior. These abused and mistreated people must exit their marriage in order to survive. Regular marrieds on the other hand are simply in search of greater happiness.