It did help that it had a name, I suppose, so we knew what we were up against. But I still felt pretty miserable

Passing a test is like trying to fly a rocket with no training and a blindfold over my eyes. Basically, impossible

This is insane, I thought. What are you going to do, pass on this fear to another generation?

We had a similar reception from another Bais Yaakov. Not outright rejection, but a cool response hinting to the fact that I was unwelcome

This darkness is beginning to penetrate my bones and take away all the cheer I have inside…

She got straight to the point: “As you know, girls, we take bullying very seriously in our school”

The pain is back, and much, much worse. I cannot move. I am collapsing

I found myself with a weird and wacky desire to misbehave. Things only went downhill from there

It filled me up to feel wanted, important, needed. Which is why once I started, I didn’t stop — at all

I made them laugh, shared my cookies, and generally was, I thought, a great friend, even if I did leave a trail of stuff in my wake

Thus concluded Day One of my Pretend. One phone call, and not much else. It felt disappointing. I was hoping for more