You may think you know everything about your spouse. But when you go house-shopping together, there are bound to be differences and surprises

Nechama Norman with Batsheva Berman

AS

s soon as I begin working with a couple, I set up a three-way chat. This helps avoid the dreaded, “What do you mean we’re supposed to be seeing a house at two? She never gave me the message.”

When I met Yanky and Shaindy Soloff, a couple in their sixties, I did the same. Then I got a message from Shaindy: Those two houses you mentioned yesterday sound interesting. Can I come see them?

Sure, I replied. Let’s just move this to the group chat.

There’s a reason I contacted you directly.

Okaayyy.

I left Shaindy a voice note, letting her know that I realize buying a house is stressful, and if she wants to speak to me privately, she should feel free to do so. She called an hour later and the story emerged.

She and her husband had just sold their home, which was prime real estate in Brooklyn, so they could move near their kids in Lakewood. Their house had brought in a lot of money. But now that they had this windfall, after decades of scrimping, they couldn’t agree on how to spend it.