How will I run a Shabbos seudah on my own? I know there are single mothers who face Shabbos solo every week, but I feel like I cannot handle this alone.

Chocolate cake is my go-to comfort food. It’s easy to prepare and even easier to enjoy — cushiony sweetness with a rich chocolate flavor.  Lately, I’ve been trying to cut back on my cake intake, but I keep a stash in my freezer and if I’m having a challenging day, I’ll treat myself to a delicious snack.

This past week has been particularly stressful. To compound my regular household responsibilities and work duties, my husband, Henoch*, is absent for most of the week. As project coordinator for a tzedakah organization, he works long hours and spends a lot of time on the road. This week he is especially busy, as a close friend of his was diagnosed with a brain tumor, r”l. Henoch is accompanying his friend to the hospital for testing and doctor visits, and is involved with trying to determine the best course of treatment.

Several halachic sheilos arise during the week and Henoch reaches out to Rabbi Itzkowitz, a well-known Lakewood posek. Rabbi Itzkowitz is an incredibly busy rav. In addition to his duties to his kehillah, his phone rings nonstop with all kinds of sheilos, and people visit his house well past midnight. Yet Rabbi Itzkowitz makes himself available to Henoch for any issues that come up.

By Friday, I am physically and emotionally drained, as much from caring for our family singlehandedly as from the silent tefillos for our dear friend, Baruch Moshe Avraham ben Chanah Devorah. Shabbos is the highlight of every week, and this week I am especially looking forward to spending some peaceful time with my family.

In the middle of the day, Henoch calls from his office to let me know that there’ve been some complications with our friend’s tests, and he is going to NYU in Manhattan to help out. I wish him hatzlachah and go back to my Shabbos preparations. At 4:30 p.m. I receive another call.

Henoch says, “I need to stay in the hospital a little longer. Shabbos starts at 7:34. I spoke to Rabbi Itzkowitz and he paskened that if I can’t get out of Manhattan by 5:30, then I shouldn’t try to make it back to Lakewood before Shabbos.”

At 5:15, I receive a text that Henoch is waiting for his friend outside the operating room. At 5:30, my husband calls to confirm that he will not make it home for Shabbos.

The oven timer rings. I take out the pan of crispy brown kugel and stare at it. How will I run a Shabbos seudah on my own? I know there are single mothers who face Shabbos solo every week, but I feel like I cannot handle this alone.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. There are four children watching me. If I fall apart, they’ll start tantruming. And, more importantly, if I do not present the case properly, they will end up feeling resentful that their Abba, who they do not see all week, is gone for Shabbos, as well.

There’s no time for-self pity; I move into action mode. We decide to spend one Shabbos meal with friends and my children are too excited about that to dwell on the fact that their Abba is not coming home for Shabbos. I finish up my preparations, all the while steeling myself for a challenging Shabbos.

Seven minutes before licht bentschen, Henoch calls to tell me that Baruch’s operation is over. He still has four more phone calls to make before Shabbos. Four minutes before licht bentschen, the doorbell rings.

Rabbi Itzkowitz himself stands at the front door, holding a chocolate cake.

“I know I can’t do anything about your husband not being here for Shabbos,” he says, “but I wanted to bring you a little something for oneg Shabbos.”

He blesses me for all the work my husband is doing, and he put his hands on each of my children’s heads and bentsches them to grow up to serve Hashem b’simchah. Then he turns to go. “It’s almost Shabbos,” he says with a smile, “and it doesn’t look good if the Rav is not in shul by this time.”

The chocolate cake he hands me has seven layers with a cream-filled center. And that works wonders, as it always does.

*Names have been changed

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 318)