“A person must view himself as if he left Egypt”

(Haggadah shel Pesach)

Every year at the time we were chosen to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation it is fitting for us to engage in actions that show the sanctity to which we ascended then. Through our physical actions it becomes fixed in our souls forever.

“A person is shaped by his actions. His heart and all of his thoughts constantly follow the deeds that he performs be they good or bad.” (Sefer HaChinuch)

“To view himself as if he left Egypt.” The goal is to reach the level where we see ourselves as if we left Egypt; we can achieve this goal through retelling the story picturing it in our imaginations until we experience the same feelings as were felt then. (Sifsei Chaim)

But I am plagued by the feeling that it is all a show that I am just an actress reading my lines performing on this beautiful stage.

Everyone will stand reverently dressed in their finery in the theater of my own home.

Ostensibly I am one of the main characters in the performance.  I play the  queen wearing a beautiful new dress sitting regally at the table and looking around at my children dressed as princes. Only the day before I wore a shabby robe crouched behind a bed and evicted a community of spiders. And here I am the protagonist of Act One.

Is any of it real?

Another way to attain the feeling that we have left Mitzrayim is to reenact the bitterness of the slavery and the freedom of the Geulah. The mitzvos of the night are a means of attaining this recognition (ibid.).

Yes it is a performance of sorts. Pretend. Pretend to be a woman in Egypt living in fear. The midwife visits in the dead of night whispering of  babies cast into the river.

Pretend you must carry her crushing burden; that a taskmaster stands over you while you work sweat pouring down your forehead.

Pretend your children are snatched away slaughtered. Pharaoh will bathe in their blood.

Pretend that one day a leader appears demanding freedom declaring allegiance to an all-powerful all-knowing G-d.

Pretend that in front of your eyes the Nile turns to blood; frogs invade the land; the roar of lions and cackle of jackals echoes through the streets. And then the children who vanished years before return with stories of boulders flowing with milk and honey.

Feel the searing pain and cry. Feel the joy and relief of redemption and laugh.

March proudly out of Egypt. Hold your head high — you are one of G-d’s chosen.

One should tell over the story of Yetziyas Mitzrayim in great detail elaborating on every aspect and reviewing it. These are the means by which we depict the Exodus and its wonders so that we can view ourselves as if we left Egypt thereby  implanting it in our thoughts and emotions (ibid. p. 366).

I sing Hallel lifted up with the  emotion. “Praise Hashem” you call out and the words resonate deep within. Is it all a show? Am I a queen or a slave? The question ceases to exist. I have left Egypt. I have seen Hashem’s hand in my life. How fortunate I am.

‘Anyone who tells the story of Yetziyas Mitzrayim in great detail is meshubach praiseworthy.’ According to the Alter of Kelm this word is related to the term ‘mashbiach’ one who improves because by telling the story in great detail he improves himself. By bringing the Exodus to life he tangibly feels the miracles and kindness of Hashem. Filled with gratitude he becomes a faithful dedicated servant of Hashem.”