A relative — let’s call him Ben — was leaving the country and brought us bags full of whatever couldn’t fit in his suitcase.

As he’s schlepping in the bags we get onto the subject of what he says is actually defined today in Americaas “buyer’s remorse.”

He suffers from buyer’s remorse he says and I agree that I suffer from it as well — particularly at this moment as all the things I just spent two months getting rid of nine things a day are now somehow finding their way back.

Ben pulls out a huge white down blanket.

“I spent 1800 shekels on this blanket” he says as he dumps it onto my couch.

He must have noticed my expression. He begins to defend the purchase.

“You know people think they are saving money to buy cheap but it’s the opposite. The way I justify my purchases and keep myself from having buyer’s remorse is that I divide the expense of the item by the amount of days I’ll be using it.”

I love this system already.

“Let’s say the blanket lasts at least two years before it’s stained and ripped” he says.

He begins dividing out loud 1800 shekels by 730 days.

It comes out to 2 shekels and 47 agurot a day to sleep warmly and comfortably.

He goes on: “And there’s something about going to sleep in comfort after a long day.”

Another reason: “And it’s something that you know you bought yourself something nice.”

Last defense: “And it’s really not 1800 shekels anymore. It’s only 2 shekels and 47 agurot.”

I find this method so freeing I wish I’d had it a few weeks ago when I bought my new stove grates.

I noticed the grates on my countertop double burner were sitting unusually high but the lower price quote had overshadowed the inner voice that said: Buy the better one.

A few days too late I noticed that the fire doesn’t reach the bottom of the pots. Everyone tried to convince me that this is the new-age way of cooking so nothing burns. I somehow bought the idea but after it took 45 minutes to boil a pot of water I had serious buyers’ remorse.

For another 500 shekels — 10 agurot a day over the next four years — I would be cooking with great pleasure.

What I learned here is that having a vision of the total picture the vision of the future the end results is freedom. It’s true joy.

If a Jew knows the results of spending all his money and efforts on educating his children then he knows where and what to invest in. What to buy. He has no remorse after 120.

As Ben was getting ready to leave and we were saying goodbye I saw a kind of fear in his eyes.

He had come toIsraelon the Birthright program. He knew he was Jewish but didn’t fully understand what it meant for him until recently. He had begun to keep Shabbos here. Keep kosher. Wear a hat.

Now the moment had come. He was leaving the place where he had bought into the joys of Torah.

The closer he got to the door the greater the fear in his eyes about all the comments and unwarranted opinions and judgments that would get thrown at him about the new values he’d acquired now packed up in his soul to take back home.

“A lot of voices are going to be coming at you” I say trying to comfort. “What did you buy into? And who sold it to you?”

Ben half smiles.

“It’s like going shopping” I say staying with the theme. “Imagine people standing in the aisles throwing things into your cart without permission. Things you didn’t ask for things you don’t want. Do we let people throw things into our carts we don’t want? And then pay for it?”

Ben smiles. I like that.

“That really helps” he said. “You’re right. I don’t want anyone else’s stuff in my cart.” He paused. “And I certainly wouldn’t pay for it” he added. “That would totally add up to buyer’s remorse.”