Some lyrics are just so confusing. Finally, the answers that have been eluding you

Some lyrics are just so confusing. How on earth did that 1967 Buick hold a wife and seven kids? And how did Uncle Moishy question Big Gedalia Goomber’s strength when it was so obvious? Finally, the answers that have been eluding you

SONG

“The Shadchan”

ALBUM

Journeys 1

LYRICS

I’m still driving up the turnpike to New York / and my ‘67 Buick’s still had better days / But the drive, it’s not as lonely as it used to be / ‘cause I’ve got my wife and seven kids along with me

Q:

1: How could you, your wife, and seven kids all fit in a ‘67 Buick?

2: You’re still driving the same car you used when you were dating, now with seven kids, and it still handles driving on highways? Wow! Who’s your mechanic?

A:

1: Two in the front, seven in the back. There were no seat belts in sthose days.

2: Dr. Middos of course. He’s a whiz with all kinds of machines!

SONG

“Geshmak to be a Yid”

ALBUM

To Be a Yid

LYRICS

Someone once came over to me and asked me what’s it like to be a Yid…

Q:

It seems that the questioner is not a Yid, otherwise he would know what it’s like to be a Yid. But if he’s not, how would he understand what “geshmak” means? 

A:

The song was originally sung at Chabad farbrengens as Yifrach, and the words were applied by the DRS high school boys in Woodmere. So it’s not my song but I definitely sing it a lot. I’m gonna go deep on you: The questioner is yourself and you ask yourself, Nu, what’s it like being a Yid? That’s a question we need to keep asking ourselves, mainly to be reminded of the answer that it’s the most amazing thing to be a Yid. It’s geshmak.

SONG

“Ain’t No Bishul”

ALBUM

Journeys 5

LYRICS

Rav Moshe said that it’s a fact — not the Farmer’s Almanac And that’s sure good enough for me — there ain’t no bishul in a kli shlishi

Q: 

You’re looking in the wrong place, because if you want to know about the kitchen, you’d need the Cook’s Almanac, not the Farmer’s Almanac. Don’t you know the difference?

A;

I never heard of the Cook’s Almanac until you mentioned it. Still, I did check, and it’s not in that one either, although they did have a good recipe for kasha varnishkes.

SONG

“Tik Tok [Al Tomar]”

ALBUM

Country Yossi and the Shteeble Hoppers: Still on the Loose

LYRICS

Hug your Bubby, kiss her on the cheek / tell her that you love her, though she’s old and weak

Q: 

Is kissing one’s Bubby a mitzvah or not? If it’s not a mitzvah, as Tuki is told, then why does it only become a mitzvah once Bubby is old and weak? And really, why are we telling her this? Like, she wants to hear she’s old and weak?

A;

I’ve subsequently been informed that apparently kissing your Bubby IS a bigger mitzvah than kissing your mezuzah! And it might also pay off more come Chanukah.

And you have the punctuation wrong.

It’s “Hug your Bubby, kiss her on the cheek, tell her that you love her,” although she’s old and weak!”

I hope you can now sleep at night!

SONG

“Sfashkenaz”

ALBUM

Journeys 4

LYRICS

My name is Klonymos Kalman Fried / You can see I’m a chassidishe Yid / I live on 16th and 53rd / Could there be a better place to live in the whole world?

Q: 

Um, in the whole world? Is that a rhetorical question? Yes, obviously there could be!! What about Eretz Yisrael?!  And by the way, what kind of chassid is Klonymous Kalman, and does this have anything to do with his perspective?

A: 

Klonymus doesn’t know anything better, because he’s a Stukinderheim Chussid. He’s never even been to Flatbush!

SONG

“Little One”

ALBUM

Miracles 3

LYRICS

Little one my little one / as you lie in your bed, and stars fill the sky / one step away from the sweetest of dreams / Secure and content in soft candlelight

Q: 

Every time I sing this, I wonder why there is candlelight in the baby’s room?! It seems like a really big fire hazard! Is this a song harking back to the olden days? Or one specifically for Friday nights? Still, should you have your leichter in the baby’s room? Please clarify.

A:

The easy answer is that of course it was written for a play in the 1800s where candlelight was the go-to mode for bleary-eyed moms. But in full disclosure, I wrote the song while serving as a married staff member in Camp Bnos, as a young mother of two little girls who I had probably only coaxed to sleep five minutes before — with no candlelight present. Either way, the universal truth that mothers can attest to is that by candlelight or any light, our children seem to magically appear 100 times cuter the moment their eyes are closed and the even breathing indicating slumber is a sure thing.

SONG

“Never Take Kids to a Store”

ALBUM

Marvelous Middos Machine Episode 3

LYRICS

They were crying, they were shouting / Why I’ll bet one even screamed…So you bought them all they wanted / much more than you could afford

Q:

I think it’s a bit much to lay all the blame for this scene on the kids’ bad middos. It is pretty normal for kids to want stuff, but isn’t it the parents’ job to say no when they don’t think it’s appropriate to buy something? If they did say no, calmly but confidently and firmly, the kids wouldn’t keep on asking and asking, ‘crying and shouting.’ That behavior is perpetuated by the parent who buys them all they want, ‘much more than they could afford.’

I’m not sure if this is naturally bad middos, or if it’s a learned behavior that the parents are enabling.

A: 

That’s a serious and difficult question. I don’t think I’ll have a clear answer until I’m well into my Purim seudah.

SONG

“We are a Miracle”

ALBUM

Ma’amin Benissim

LYRICS:

A nation in the desert, we started out as slaves / Made it to the motherland, and then came the Crusades

Q: 

From the times of Yehoshua until the Crusaders reached Eretz Yisrael more than 2,000 years passed, with lots of suffering and miracles of survival in between. Where did all that time go?

A: 

I actually wrote those lines myself before I gave the song to the lyricist, although honestly, I didn’t think she would use them.

Who says I’m referring to the desert on the way out of Egypt? I could be referring to the desert from Babylon (they have them there, too!) which is only hundreds of years from the Crusades.

To be honest, in a five-and-a-half-minute song we didn’t have time to mention all the troubles and miracles Klal Yisrael faced. As you know, there are too many. Dayeinu!

SONG

“Never Afraid”

ALBUM

Hooleh – 8th Day

LYRICS

“Neveh Yusya man, Neveh Yusya man / Neveh Yusya never be afraid / Neveh Yusya never change your ways”

Q: 

Who is this guy? Can we get his biography? Sounds like he has a fascinating story about clandestine Judaism and imprisonment in Soviet Russia.

A: 

It’s a great question. First, let’s clarify the words and that will help a lot. (As you know, 8th Day lyrics are studied in yeshivos around the world.) So, let’s start with pshat: There is an old Russian chassidic song called “Ne’ bayutzya” (Don’t be afraid) — nyet nyet nikavo (there is none besides Hashem). The words of our song reference that old song. That’s the simple meaning.

Our family is descended from chassidic families who lived in Russia, where the Chabad Lubavitch movement has deep roots. When the Rebbe came to America, he brought this song and bravery, which we try to infuse into our music.

SONG

“Country Boy”

ALBUM

Journeys 4

LYRICS

Wouldn’t trade my way of life for a bushel full of gold

Q: 

With the rising prices and tuition crisis, it’s long past time to move out of Brooklyn already. And there are no rumors of gold in Toms River. So tell us more about the country and the bushel full of gold? Which state? Do you need a license to gather it?

A:

You can certainly save a bushel of gold on housing costs if you move to Kansas  — and if you go there and start a yeshivah, you can give yourself a nice tuition break.

SONG

“The Wedding Song”

ALBUM

Journeys 2

LYRICS

Katz’s Wedding Consultant Agency

Q: 

Is Mr. Katz from Katz’s Wedding Consultant Agency the same Mr. Katz who went with all of his kids to the store? Makes sense. After all, his kids learned from him that going over the top is just normal. Simple even. And if you’re speaking to him, can you ask him how the wedding guests are supposed to carry home a Shas — and what should the baal simchah give the ladies???

A: 

1: Yup, you nailed it. Same misguided fella. 2: It would have been a coupon for Eichler’s or Zundel Berman Books. 3: Mrs. Hershkowitz was just about to get on the phone and ask Mr. Katz that question… but as you know, her husband hung up.

SONG

“The Pintele Yid”

ALBUM

The Pintele Yid, Schwebel Scharf Levine

LYRICS

Till one Friday Eve she’d taken ill and couldn’t leave her home / And a woman visiting the sick came into her room / She said “Take these candles and light them before the sun goes down / And in their merit may you recover soon”

Q: 

The narrator says about the woman who’d left frumkeit that “One Friday Eve she’d taken ill and couldn’t leave her home”, and that then, “The woman visiting the sick came into her room.” Something seems off about that scenario.... If she couldn’t leave her home, this “woman visiting the sick” just went around to people’s houses delivering candles on Friday nights, and went into their bedrooms?! Unless the “room” she came into was, like, her living room or dining room? And still, why is she making house calls to a non-frum woman? How does she even know she’s sick? 

A: 

You’re asking for a lot of detail that could hardly be packed into just 16 bars. First of all, their interaction happened on Friday Eve. Obviously, it could not yet have been Shabbos or else the woman visiting the sick could not have brought her candles to light. So the question you’re asking is why is this woman bringing candles to a person who is not frum?  The answer is, does that really matter? Clearly the woman visiting her was involved in kiruv. She saw an opportunity to approach someone in need and, as the song continues to tell us, it obviously paid off.

SONG

“Shootin’ for the Moon”

ALBUM

Shootin’ for the Moon

LYRICS

I’m shootin’ for the moon tonight / I ride the winds at the speed of light / I’ve set my goals, I made my mind / And if I miss, I’ll make it to the stars

Q:

But the stars are further away from us than the moon!!!

A: 

I’ve been asked this question many times over the years. The Purim answer is that if I sang “I’m shootin’ for the stars tonight but if I miss I’ll make it to the moon” it wouldn’t rhyme well!

But all kidding aside, the moon is accessible, and we are able to reach it if we just try hard enough. So I am shootin’ for the moon and going for it, but if I miss at least I’ll hit the stars.

SONG

“Up, Up, and Away”

ALBUM

The Marvelous Middos Machine, Episode 1

LYRICS

Dr. Middos has invented something you have never seen…

Q: 

Aren’t all inventions something you have never seen? Were you following the great tradition of Jewish double expressions, as in “Gut Yom Tov,” and “Can you pass the mayim acharonim water?”

“Up, Up, and Away” was composed by Professor Doubletalk.

SONG

“A Boy Named Zlateh”

 ALBUM

Country Yossi Strikes Again

LYRICS

I tell ya, life ain’t easy for a boy named Zlateh. Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean. And when it came to a fight, ich hub gevist vus tzu teen

Q: 

After the whole fight, who paid for the mess?

A: 

Mexico!

SONG

“Ein Od Milvado”

ALBUM

Inspire

LYRICS

Shooting stars that travel at the speed of light…

Q: 

How did the shooting stars defy the laws of physics and travel at the speed of light? (Yes, this is a science-y thing, sorry non-STEM people, for bringing it into a music column.)

A: 

If people can tweak pesukim or divrei Chazal to fit their songs (yes, they do!) then tweaking the laws of science shouldn’t come as a surprise, really.

SONG

“Big Gedalia Goomber”

ALBUM

Uncle Moishy, Vol. 1

LYRICS

I’m not sure if you’re strong enough

Q: 

When Gedalia Goomber rings the bell and offers to help Uncle Moishy unpack his seforim, Uncle Moishy doubts his strength. But in his Gedalia Goomber song in response we find out that he is 17 feet tall and can carry a ton of bricks. Not sure how Uncle Moishy missed that when he opened the door.

A: 

The truth has always been a very big secret and now it’s finally coming out. Big Gedalia was clearly very tall. You could see that by looking at him. On the other hand, we didn’t know how strong he was until he would do some amazing thing to show his super-duper strength.

So, everyone knew he could change a lightbulb, get the eggs from a birds’ nest, pick an esrog from a treetop, or rescue a kitten stuck in a tree, BUT he hid the fact that he could do heavy lifting.

And Uncle Moishy didn’t know it either.

Once the song started and the adventures came about, everyone, including Uncle Moishy, was able to see how strong he was.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1053)