The eldest of several sisters Robyn grew up in England. She married an American boy and settled in Chicago. When each of her sisters entered shidduchim they made their way to America to try their luck in the wider playing field. Robyn hosted her single sisters for months and now that two of them married and are raising their families in New York she hosts their families every Succos and Pesach for two weeks at a time.

Robyn invests a lot of effort in giving her sisters’ families a comfortable welcome. She sets the tone of the trip by arriving at the airport armed with Slurpees and doughnuts for the kids. “I have the beds made before they come and the entire basement is clean. I put fresh towels on their beds and make sure the guest bathroom is stocked with shampoo spare toothbrushes and other necessities.”

Robyn’s guests feel like they’ve arrived at a luxury hotel — with a friendly maitre d’ thrown into the deal. But just how important are the physical accoutrements of hospitality?

Yaeli has spent a lot of time in other people’s homes. As a newcomer to Yiddishkeit she relied on the hospitality of many religious families some for Shabbos and some for long-term board. For Yaeli the physical environment takes second priority.

“If someone is better off then they’ll have nice linen on the beds while someone with less time and money might ask me to bring my own sheets but I’m fine either way. A minimal level of cleanliness I’d expect but whether you set your table with china or disposable plates I don’t care.”

Odelia who also was a long-term guest agrees that physical appurtenances are secondary. “My best memories were unrelated to whether the family worked hard to get our room ready put out a fancy toiletry basket in the bathroom or had a gourmet meal ” she says. While the extra touches if one has the money and inclination for such things undoubtedly add to the experience there is a much more fundamental ingredient.

“The families that made things homey and comfortable are the ones who stand out in my mind” says Odelia.