You feel her empathy and sadness, the curiosity and respect for your life experience and courage

“IS this your first?” the triage nurse asks, as you breathe deeply, waiting for the wave of pain to pass.

“No,” you tentatively reply. “It’s my sixth.” Then you pause, leaving space for her to absorb  the shock.

Throughout the pregnancy the same scenario has played out countless times. With the ultrasound technician, strangers at the grocery store, the receptionist at your OB’s office. Their voices always contain traces  of awe sprinkled with a little horror.

Their surprised respect at your large family size contrasts starkly with your OB’s voice when she asks how many pregnancies you’ve had. “Ten,” you reply.

“Live births?” she continues.

Now you interrupt the script. “Six.”