B.A.N.G.: Act 2, Scene 2
"Forget the drill — my father will never let me use his — but what in the world is an awl?"
ARON, a slow-moving fellow who likes to take life easy
BORUCH, trying to cope with a big sister who always knows better
NOSSON, clever and articulate, often talks in italics to make a point
GERSHON, creative and quick to think of new ideas
GERSHON: Guys, I’ve got a great new skill to teach!
NOSSON: [glumly] Dunno. I think we should abandon the whole idea. My kid sister’s still in a huff.
BORUCH: Hey, Nosson, cheer up! It’s not like you to give up so easily. You’re always the one who’s urging us on!
NOSSON: Yeah, but you guys don’t have a kid sister giving you cutting looks all the time.
BORUCH: Well, some of us have big sisters. Believe me, kid sisters are nothing compared to big sisters, or at least a certain big sister who thinks she knows way more than you about absolutely everything.
[A creaking sound is heard.]
BORUCH: What’s that?
ARON: Just me, stretching. You get stiff lying on the couch for so many hours.
GERSHON: Can we get back to business? So, I was telling you about this great idea. I read an article about bookbinding. You can fix up old books like new! It sounds really easy. And hey, people even make money on it, by repairing seforim!
BORUCH: Sounds good.
NOSSON: Mm hmm.
GERSHON: Great. What about Aron?
ARON: [yawns] Dunno. I’m so tired. Maybe—
GERSHON: [hastily] Okay, guys. We’re on! Now, we need to get our supplies ready. [Reads through a list.] You need a book to rebind, of course, and needle and strong thread.
BORUCH: I thought we’re doing bookbinding, not sewing.
GERHSON: Yeah, but you gotta stitch the pages together. And you need PVA glue, and — what’s this? A drill or awl? Forget the drill — my father will never let me use his — but what in the world is an awl?
BORUCH: Probably means owl.
GERSHON: But they spell it A-W-L.
BORUCH: Spelling mistake.
GERSHON: There’s a whole bunch of small print here as well; probably not important.
NOSSON: Look, why don’t we start getting our stuff together, and then you can talk us through the instructions.
GERSHON: Yeah, great idea. See you back in five, guys.
[Gershon rushes around the house. He finds some thread and glue, but is somewhat stumped by “owl.” In the end he grabs a bird-shaped china ornament from the mantelpiece. Nosson and Boruch busily gather their own kit. Aron makes a half-hearted attempt to get up, before sinking back into his couch. Gershon, Nosson, and Boruch get back on the line, panting from their exertions, each having selected a favorite-but-shabby old book, as well as assorted other bits and pieces.]
NOSSON: How’s this for a bird? I found a glass salt cellar shaped like a swan.
BORUCH: Hope this toy penguin will do. Can’t imagine why you need a bird for bookbinding, though.
ARON: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
GERSHON: Now, let’s see — it says you’re supposed to line up the edges and clamp the book — nah, don’t think that matters. Then you make holes with the owl.
BORUCH: How d’you do that? My bird’s soft and squishy.
NOSSON: Mine’s got a pointy beak though — eek! Not anymore, it doesn’t.
GERHSON: I’ll try mine. [A smashing sound is heard.] Yikes! Why do they make these ornaments so flimsy?
[Enter BORUCH’S BIG SISTER]: What’re you doing? Bookbinding? With a penguin?… What d’you mean the instructions say owl?… Awl, not owl! It’s a spikey kind of tool for poking holes. Honestly!
[The three boys hastily look for pointy items such as pens and keys and start jabbing their books ineffectually, denting them badly. Boruch’s glue spills all over his book.]
GERSHON: Uh oh, guys, hold it! Just spotted this bit at the end. It says, “Don’t make your first binding with something you actually like, because there’s a 99.999999% chance you’ll mess up. Use a junk book to practice with.”
[There is a sudden silence.]
to be continued…
(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 815)
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