What causes kids to refuse to go to school and what can we do about it?

The alarm clock rings again, he rolls over and goes back to sleep, missing yet another day of school. She’s up and ready to go, but when it’s time to leave the house, she freezes. He’s fine until he gets to the school gates…Chronic absenteeism is a crisis across America, but what happens when the crisis involves your kid, hits your home? What causes kids to refuse to go to school and what can we do about it?

It’s 8:49 a.m., and Batsheva was already on edge. Tension pulsated through her veins, and she breathed to steady herself.

Waking up her household with a gentle knock and cheerful “Good morning” worked for most of her children. Of course, they didn’t relish leaving their cozy beds and heading to school, but after the requisite morning mumbles and grumbles, they began their morning routine.

Except for Shua.

The battle to get him to go to school was an endless one. He often slept straight through his alarms, lying in bed for hours and hours, and missed school. Which is why she made a feeble attempt to wake him every morning.

She paused before knocking and entering Shua’s room. In the eye of the hurricane he called a bedroom, he slept peacefully. She was loath to disturb him.

As she nudged him gently, she wondered, Maybe today will be the day. Maybe today he’ll get up and go to school and do the things “normal” kids do….

When other parents complained to Batsheva about their kids being sick and out of school, she would think: You think that’s hard? You know your kid is going back tomorrow. Or next week. My kid hardly leaves my tiny house.

There was also the safety issue. Shua would literally sleep through the smoke detector. So while Batsheva was technically able to leave him home alone — he was old enough at 14 — he wasn’t safe while he was sleeping. When she left for work, she fretted about his safety.

Some mornings, she gave him a window of time to get ready, saying, “I’ll be happy to drive you if you’re ready in x minutes.” And then he would get up and move really slowly. Slowly to the bathroom. Slowly to put his clothes on. Slowly to prepare food for his school day.

And all the while she kept trying to just breathe, breathe, breathe.