In the reminiscences of Rav Chaim’s daughters and his long-time neighbor we see other facets: the husband, the father, the man who cared for every Jew

Towering tzaddik, master of all of Shas, baal mofes — there are many descriptions of Rav Chaim Kanievsky’s greatness, of the tzidkus the public saw.

The man who wouldn’t eat breakfast without his wife, who visited his married children when they were sick, who helped a novelist with the details of her story — in the reminisces of Rav Chaim’s daughters and his long-time neighbor we see other facets: the husband, the father, the man who cared for every Jew

Daughters of a Talmid Chacham

Sarah Pardes

A nation mourns its leader. Four women mourn their father. Rav Chaim’s daughters describe their childhoods in the Kanievsky home

“Our house was never a private home; it was always Klal Yisrael’s home. We never locked the door. Anyone could go in and out at any time to speak to our father or mother. Abba couldn’t disconnect from his learning, yet he dedicated a significant chunk of his time to Am Yisrael.”

I hear variations of this over and over from the four daughters of Rav Chaim Kanievsky ztz”l — tbl”c Rebbetzin Leah Koledetzky, Rebbetzin Ruth Tzivyon, Rebbetzin Dina Epstein, and Rebbetzin Bracha Braverman. (The fifth daughter, Rebbetzin Chana Steinman a”h, passed away years ago.)

The daughters are sitting shivah in the home of their brother, Rav Yitzchak Shaul shlita. Since Rebbetzin Kanievsky’s passing ten and a half years ago, he’s been living in the apartment adjacent to his father.

It’s Monday, the first full day of the shivah. Masses of women converge on the apartment to be menachem avel. But despite the numbers, the daughters are attentive to each person. Rebbetzin Leah Kolodetzky notices a group of young girls who’ve come with their teacher from Ashdod.

“When a great person passes away, his good middos are dispersed throughout the world, and each person can take upon one,” she tells them. “I suggest you adopt the middah of kibbud horim that he excelled at. Anything Abba’s parents told him was kodesh kodoshim.”

“In addition, it’s also worthy to be strict about davening three tefillos a day,” Rebbetzin Kolodetzky continues. “Abba said that although the Mishnah Berurah writes that women are only obligated in two tefillos — Shacharis and Minchah — it’s advisable to also daven Maariv. He always said that tefillah is emunah, and in our generation, we need lots of emunah.

“Of course, mothers of small children or women who work can’t spend too much time davening, but it’s still important to be makpid about tefillah. When you daven Minchah, it’s better to do it as early as possible, right after chatzos. If you push the tefillah off for the minutes before shkiah, you could end up missing the opportunity.

“Both Abba and Ima were very makpid about this, and they both passed away right after Minchah. If Ima would leave her tefillah for a later hour, it wasn’t the same tefillah.”

Respect in Another Realm

“When he was a child, and later a yeshivah bochur, his mother made sure to provide him with food,” says Rebbetzin Bracha Braverman. “She knew how immersed he was in his learning and that he was able to completely forget to care for his basic physical needs. Throughout the day, Abba always forgot to eat, but when he returned home, he made sure to finish all the food his mother had prepared, so she wouldn’t be worried about him.”

Once he was married, Rav Chaim would visit his mother every single day, even though every minute was precious to him. “Later, when she passed away, he’d visit his widowed sister, Rebbetzin Barzam shetichyeh, every day; she lives nearby, also on Rashbam street.”

Each visitor comes into the apartment and shares stories about brachos that came true, childless couples who were blessed, and ill people who were healed.

“Our father’s whole essence was learning Torah. All these stories occurred during small amounts of time he didn’t learn because he was helping the tzibbur,” Rebbetzin Dina Epstein remarks. “All the mofsim came from the power of his learning. ”

Says Rebbetzin Kolodetzky, “Abba didn’t know the streets of the city, except for the way from our house to his parents’ house. When Ima gave birth and he wanted to go to the grocery to buy bread and milk for the morning, he didn’t know where it was, even though it was just a few meters from the house. But when subjects relating to halachic calculations were presented to him, within seconds he could calculate the most complex things.”

“Our father’s ability to concentrate was astounding,” Rebbetzin Braverman recalls. “Neither of my parents ever asked us to be quiet when Abba was learning. We could jump and run around the dining room, jump on Ima’s bed when he was resting while holding a sefer; nothing disturbed him. People were amazed to see him going back to the same line in the Gemara after he reluctantly stopped to accept visitors.

“He went out to learn on the porch, even though the street below was bustling and noisy. His shtender was jostled all the time, but he didn’t notice. The only thing he asked us was to make sure the table was clear, so he could put his seforim on it.”