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vraham Avinu was devastated by the death of his beloved wife but when it was time to negotiate the terms of her burial he shelved his mourning state wiped away his tears and went out to purchases the Mearas Hamachpeilah. Because even the Hittites deserved his respect.

“Sarah died in Kiryas Arba” (Bereishis 23:2).

This was such a difficult moment in Avraham’s life especially coming as it did on the heels of his journey to Har Hamoriah. He had just been through the most challenging of all the tests that G-d brought upon him the nisayon of Akeidas Yitzchak. And now he stood next to the funeral bier of his wife who had died while he was making his way home from that journey of trial and faith. No sooner had he passed that test of faith than he found himself facing a new challenge the sudden passing of the great woman who had been steadfastly at his side all along his unique road in this world. And if that was not trying enough he was simultaneously faced with the necessity of negotiating with the Hittites. Avraham the future lord of the Promised Land had to request a small piece of that land from its temporary owners in order to bring Sarah to burial.

And indeed Sarah was a particularly great woman as the first pasuk of our parshah says of her: “And the life of Sarah was 100   years and 20 years and 7 years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.”

From this wording with its emphasis on every year of Sarah’s life our Sages learned how great and unique was Sarah’s personality. They summed up her prominence in a few succinct words:

“‘The years of the life of Sarah’ — all of them equally good” (Rashi).

All her life Sarah displayed a faith that never wavered. For more than a century she stood on a sturdy spiritual ladder where there were no doubts and none of the hard trials she faced could shake her from it. Her absolute trust in Avraham’s G-d enabled her to withstand the anguish of childlessness and infertility and even the fear of captivity on at least two different occasions. Nothing could break through the fortress of her trust and faith which served as a blueprint of strength and connection for all generations to come.

And now Avraham stands by her bier and grieves for the wife of his youth: “And Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her.”

To weep and eulogize. We can be sure that at that time especially all the exceptional qualities that our Sages attribute to Sarah were at the forefront of Avraham’s mind. The day of departure from this world is generally the day of summing up all the years of the person’s life. And no greater praise can be given than to describe the person’s whole life as one united entity. A complete and perfect life powered by an ideal and a soaring vision such as Avraham’s a journey on a single path with no deviations throughout all of life’s tribulations. Such a life is virtually unparalleled. And accordingly Avraham’s grief was very great.

And then while still in a state of mourning and weeping “Avraham arose from beside his dead and spoke to the Hittites.”

We know that Avraham “arose” for the purpose of acquiring Mearas Hamachpeilah as a burial place for his wife as well as for himself and the other Avos. But is the Torah merely telling us that Avraham physically rose to his feet? The Torah is written with extreme brevity and no word is inserted just for stylistic effect. Why then does the pasuk take the trouble to tell us that Avraham “arose from beside his dead”? Obviously if he wanted to speak to the Hittites he had to get up and go to them.

But indeed we find that this “arising” has a deep significance. That moment of “arising” marked a turning point within Avraham and reveals the greatness of this man which found expression on this very painful occasion in his life:

“Avraham Avinu stood up and dried his tears for he had to go and speak with people. And out of respect for all human beings he wiped his tears washed his face and hid his sorrow away. After so much weeping he removed every trace of tears for it was not respectful toward them for him to speak to them with tearstains on his face; but instead he controlled himself and subdued his feelings and spoke to them with a pleasant face. This is kavod habrios honoring one’s fellow man.” (Rav Yerucham Levovitz of Mir on the parshah)

The pasuk is not merely emphasizing the fact that Avraham rose physically from his seat of mourning in order to go and negotiate the purchase of a burial place. There is no need to say that. Rather the text teaches that he picked himself up emotionally and mentally at that moment. The Torah is highlighting his ability to conquer his deep sorrow to detach himself from the pain from the bereavement and the tears. But why? Why was it so important to vanquish his grief at that moment?

Here we come to the root of Avraham’s faith in Hashem and the philosophy of life that was founded upon that faith: love of his fellow man and meticulous care to honor them no matter who they are. He didn’t forget these things even at this time of sorrow and grief. Avraham remained Avraham under every circumstance and if kavod habrios was at the foundation of his belief system then a personal tragedy did not displace it. This was Avraham’s greatness. Those who came into contact with him didn’t have to suffer because he was steeped in mourning. And therefore he could not appear before the Hittites with signs of mourning and sorrow on his face. This would make them feel uncomfortable. The atmosphere at the meeting would be gloomy and that would be an offense against the concept of honoring one’s fellow man. And so “Avraham arose.” He stood up and shook off his mourning in order to honor HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s creatures who were also made in the image of G-d.

What a huge gap there is between Avraham Avinu and the average person today who brings his whole bag of troubles with him to work to a social gathering and needless to say into his home. In an office for example every employee can tell when something unpleasant has happened in their boss’s private life because his mood affects the whole atmosphere of the workplace and everyone around him is forced to be a participant in his feelings. But by Avraham’s standards this sort of behavior is a serious offense against the concept of loving and honoring one’s fellow man.

Accordingly we see that the parshah is revealing something of great importance by telling us how Avraham conducted himself at this difficult juncture in his life. Scripture is highlighting the personality of Avraham from this shining angle when our first patriarch withstood the test of love for his fellow man at a time when people in general even fine people tend to be oblivious to this concept. And this is vital information for us because if Avraham stayed focused about this even while grieving then this quality of loving his fellow man and honoring him must have been integral and instinctive to him not merely a slogan to which he gave lip service. At the time when it was least expected he displayed unconditional love and honor for his fellow man. He arose from beside his dead. He dried his tears. He cast a pleasant happy mood over everyone around him and in this spirit he conducted his dealings with Efron the Hittite for the purchase of the burial site he desired.

It is in the small things that a person’s true greatness is revealed. Even “regular” people can do great deeds because all of us carry Avraham Avinu’s DNA — and the story of his life and challenges can make us aware of what we’re really capable of and how much we too can stretch ourselves.