Before our visit, the coordinator or I checked if and when the cholim wanted visitors. Even with all these checks in place, our trips didn’t always work out as planned. One lady we came to visit was sleeping the whole time. But the trip was not wasted: The lady across the hall waved us in, thrilled to have company.

To show my kids the impact one person can make, one day we visited a local Rebbetzin who runs a weekly food gemach, to peek behind the scenes. My kids learned about the logistics of the operation, and the time and effort it took to set up and clear away. I had just found out that a local food establishment threw out their surplus bagels each night. The bagels were discarded at midnight, and the owner told us that if we came after that time, they would be happy to donate the bagels to the food gemach.

When we asked the woman who runs the gemach if we could do this for her, she told us that there was already a secret chesed queen who regularly embarked on this bagel mission. However, she was out of town for the month so we could take over. My husband or I picked up the food at night, and in the mornings, the kids delivered the huge bags. It gave the children such a feeling of satisfaction to be able to save perfectly good food, and it was eye-opening for them to hear how someone regularly volunteers for this midnight mission.

Each day ended with an activity at home. One day we picked up old car tires free from the mechanic and made an obstacle course. Another day, we drew posters with oil-pastel crayons while listening to a story CD. We played in the sprinklers and with water balloons.

To enhance the experience, after each day’s chesed outing, my older kids journaled about their encounters while the younger kids worked on art projects. Some days, the journal assignment was to simply write about what we did, or describe the facility, or write about something that had surprised him or her. At the end of the week we looked back on all the entries and did another written exercise to solidify what they learned or gained from the experience.

The process of answering questions on paper forced the children to think about what they learned. Some questions focused on feelings: How did you feel when we first got there? How did you feel when we left? Others drew on their observations: What did you notice about the place? What did the patient need? Who did you see working there? Was there a means through which you connected with the person visited (a puzzle, music, delivery of food or flowers, etc.)?

Obviously, my older kids got more out of the experience than my little ones, but I think exposing them to the ideal of making others happy was impactful for all of us. The kids stretched out of their comfort zones, learning how to approach a stranger with a smile, a greeting, or a carnation. They learned how easy it was to initiate an interaction, even though it might start out awkwardly. The delighted, talkative reactions of the people we visited showed the children how much gain there was for their small effort. Of course, they also inherently gained appreciation for health and for their youth when they visited the sick or the elderly. And they learned honor for the seniors when hearing all they had to share about the history of their lives and their wisdom.

There were other, unseen benefits. One day, my mother popped in unexpectedly as we were on our way out to visit a woman who is blind and has endured much suffering. Bubbie joined us, and she still visits this woman, who continues to inspire us with her positivity.

The wonderful thing about the chesed camp is that it lends itself to so many different ideas that there’s something to suit every personality. Some kids might want to get a taste for fundraising, making a yard sale or a bottle drive (collect returnable bottles/cans for cash refund), amassing the money to give to a choice tzedakah. They can plan and run a small carnival for another camp. Another idea is to prepare food or do errand running for someone in a crisis.  Children can also do home improvements for someone with limited mobility or limited funds, such as paint a room in a house, or pull weeds in the walkway. They can water flowers for a homebound woman who views that flowerpot from her bed.

Children can learn about local organizations by helping to stuff envelopes for a mailing or other administrative tasks. So many skills may be learned and practiced, all while helping others as a team.

My kids learned that there is no minimum age at which you can make a difference. And they saw that you don’t need special equipment or resources to give to others: All they needed were their smiles and giving hearts.

CHASING CHESED:

TIPS FOR MAKING YOUR OWN CHESED CAMP

A little research in one’s community reveals so much that can be done to help others, both individuals and organizations. How can others benefit from your time, teamwork, and skills? Remember to teach your children that chesed is not what you want to do, but rather fulfilling the other person’s needs. Encourage them to be detectives and search for those needs.

Organizing your chesed camp:

• First, think about what time of day you are willing to use for the chesed camp and the chesed
• Next, think of what you have to offer and what your kids like to do. Do they love to run errands? Work outdoors? Entertain (with skits, musical instruments, card tricks)? Work with food? Organize?
• Next, find your community-resource information. Some communities have a Chesed Gemach, which lists people who are looking for volunteer help, a wonderful place to start. Chazak line has gemachs listed by city; contact the coordinator to see what you can do as a group. Many cities have bikur cholim coordinators and meal coordinators aware of who needs visits and who needs meals.
• Let the kids in on the decisions. Would they rather visit the sick or deliver meals? Take carnations to seniors or put labels on envelopes for a mailing? Water flowers for someone or take them for a walk pushing their wheelchair?
• Assign one child per day to present the story for the morning meeting. If she needs help, direct her to a story in a book and help her adapt it to her own words, or ask her to draw a picture she can present to the group.
• At the meeting I also shared a story related to doing chesed. Some great stories I found were in biographies, such as Reb Shlomo by Yisroel Besser; The Bostoner Rebbetzin Remembers by Raichel Horowitz; Just One Word: Amen by Esther Stern; Touched by a Story for Children 2, by Rabbi Yechiel Spero; and For Goodness’ Sake by R’ Boruch Brull etc. We learned shemiras halashon from a passage in Family Lesson a Day, which the older kids took turn reading aloud. I was trying to set a tone, to give my kids a feeling of unity of purpose, while being fun enough to be their camp counselor.
• Just taking a tour of a chesed organization like Tomchei Shabbos or Chaverim can be a great learning experience. Ask questions for the kids: How did this get started? How many people are involved?

When visiting others:

• Leave extra time for each outing. Even if you plan to visit one person, you might end up shmoozing with others in the lobby for 20 minutes on the way in and out. Don’t plan more than one outing per day; let the experience stand on its own and sink in.
• Bring along coloring/activity books for the younger children when visiting people. They need something to occupy them so that they’re comfortable and not tugging at you to leave. What they bring to work on might also be a nice gift to leave with the person you visit as a gift, or create an entry point to conversation. You may also bring flowers to give one stem to each person in the lobby.
• Be sure to follow policies of facilities, such as visiting hours, sign-in sheets, and age limitations.
• When visiting others, be sensitive to follow their cues. Don’t stay too long. Often five to ten minutes is long enough, especially for the sick.
• Don’t be afraid of silence. You don’t have to be a huge conversationalist. And you definitely shouldn’t ask personal questions. Sometimes just the gift of a smile from your child’s fresh young face is priceless to those you visit.