He was definitely sincere. It was the intensity that concerned me

Shani Leiman with Zivia Reischer

Adena was the daughter of one of my co-teachers. Her parents were both in chinuch — we called them the dynamic duo. They bent over backwards for their students, relentless in their quest to guide and to grow. The more challenging the case, the more energy they invested. They were unstoppable.

Actually, it was a bit strange that I hadn’t met Adena until now. She was already 25 years old. Maybe she was uncomfortable because of my friendship with her mother (or maybe her mother was uncomfortable?). Whatever the reason was, it probably faded as time passed and the search for a shidduch began to feel more urgent.

When I met her, I saw right away that Adena had inherited her parents’ tenacity. She was determined to make a meaningful life for herself and had worked hard to earn her degree as a physical therapist. She was both down to earth and a dreamer, and her plan was to eventually open her own practice to serve the frum community.

“Mrs. Leiman,” Adina told me with endearing honesty, “I drive myself hard and I have the same expectation for the people around me. I’m willing to work hard to support my husband in kollel, and I want him to be working as hard for his learning.” She smiled as she said it — she smiled a lot, in general. “I have one life to live and I intend to do it right.”

I marveled at the dichotomy I saw in Adena. The intensity of her words was tempered by her ready smile and easy laugh. Though her words were passionate and intense, her personality was light and easygoing. She was approachable. This was a rare combination, and I thought I knew the perfect person for her.