“And the man Moshe was exceedingly humble more so than any man on the face of the earth.” (Bamidbar 12:3)
In parshas V’zos Habrachah it says that no one else arose [in Israel] like Moshe. How can it be that a man who reached the zenith of greatness within his nation could also be the most humble man on earth? (Darchei Mussar Rav Yaakov Neiman)
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Really I did.
But despite my best efforts one word kept rising to the surface: snob. It wasn’t like I’ve never sat next to someone who didn’t want to sit next to me. Sure back in kindergarten… at Bnos in fourth grade… Okay even in the last decade I’ve sat next to people I didn’t know on the bus…. But never have I been snubbed more completely than sitting next to this woman at a family simchah. Her problem? She was from the “other side.” And some well-meaning relative not anticipating this woman’s frostiness decided to arrange one table of both sides of the family sitting together.
As far as this woman was concerned our side of the table was no more important than the centerpieces or chairs. Throughout the evening she sat with her head turned toward relatives from “her side.” She didn’t even ask us to pass the salt. We weren’t worthy of conversation.
On my way home that night I tried to find the rationale behind her behavior. Fine so she didn’t know us. But what causes somebody to ignore us so rudely? Was my outfit too dowdy for her taste? Maybe my lowly status as an out-of-town cousin didn’t allow her to mingle with me. But a smile? Couldn’t she spare me a two-second greeting?
No. She couldn’t. Her pride stopped her. Pride is a protective wall. Pride is what makes us think that we’re worth more than everyone else around us.
In my humble opinion acting unpretentious is our natural tendency. There’s no haughtiness in the neshamah for it is a G-dly part from Above as it says (Bereishis 2:7): “And He blew into his nostrils a living spirit.”
The neshamah that Hashem placed within each of us is pure free of bad middos. All negative character traits are based in our physicality. To whatever degree a person lives with materialism bad middos control him and to whatever degree he relates to his neshamah he’ll exude good middos.
One who associates his worth with his physicality is haughty by nature. Therefore the Navi Yirmiyahu says (9:22–23): “Let not the wise man take pride in his wisdom nor the strong man take pride in his strength. But in this shall one take pride — understand and know Me.” If one tries to be close to Hashem he’ll be humble because that’s the natural state of the neshamah. (ibid.)
Pride is not the result of what you have; it’s the result of how bound you are to what you have — your body clothing possessions.
Pride comes from that low base place that runs after money honor and pleasure. As a result of viewing one’s own worth based on his possessions a person becomes so small and materialistic that he cannot connect to other people’s neshamos. Then he becomes so frantic to maintain his self-worth that he tramples anyone who may succeed in surpassing him.
The Alter Rav Simcha Zissel ztz”l commented on the gemara in Eiruvin (13b): “They reached a consensus that man would have been better off had he not been created.” This concept shows us how little benefit we get from This World. By focusing on our paltry gains from This World we’ll be able to cling more to our spirituality. As a result we’ll reap the benefits of good middos. As Shlomo Hamelech tells us (Mishlei 15:15): “One who has a good heart has a constant feast.” (ibid.)
Moshe Rabbeinu had a lot more going for him than other human beings. He was born into a family with yichus and grew up in a palace. It was he who took his nation out of Mitzrayim and went up to Heaven and received the Torah directly from Hashem! Yet because of all this he remained the most humble of men.
Humility. It’s not a middah — it’s a place. The highest place to reach.